Monday, May 10, 2010

To be fine or not to be fine

My husband, or ex-husband, or soon-to-be-ex, or jerk I'm dealing with, or WHATEVER he is, invited me out for Mother's Day dinner.  It's true that he called at 5pm, and then told me how 'it's only natural' for him to be thinking about his baby momma on Mother's day, and would I like to go.  It was an invitation.  We decided on drinks and appetizers and I thought it would be a harmless hour or so.  What could go wrong?  Since my four year old goes everywhere I go, she came too.  Should be a nice evening.
Within the first 30 seconds of sitting down at the restaurant, daddy proceeded to send baby girl pics of seals jumping around making seal noises.  So I ask if he went to Sea World or something.  He tells me no, he went to Pismo Beach.  Now, I know damn well that he didn't drive down the coast to Pismo Beach with his homies.  Obviously he had a date.  Fine. No problem.  Probably some Internet ho, I think to myself.  When his little ploy didn't work, he then proceeds to tell me how fine I look. "thanks" I say.  He then laughs and says, "you not gonna tell me how fine I look, or say anything back?"
uhhh..nooooo.  This is mothers day after all and we are supposed to be talking about me, not how fine you are.  He then tells me how, "when he walks into a room, the women stop breathing!"  or how some women paid him two hundred dollars just to go out.  I tell him he doesn't have to be a prostitute. He's better then that.(?)  Then he tells me everywhere he goes, women stop and stare. 
mental note: next guy I date, will be ugly.
The point is, this is nothing new.  I used to ignore his ramblings about 'how fine' he is, as just an endearing quality.  "oh, that's so cute, he thinks he's fine."  Now, he just gets on my nerves!  I thought it was Mother's Day.  I don't care how 'women stop breathing when he walks into a room."
As a self-confident women, I know other men check me out.  I don't feel the need to tell him, or anyone else, "did you see that guy checking me out?" It's just the way it is.  And fellows, honestly, if you're fine. we know it.  You don't have to tell us.  If you're fine and your telling us, what your really telling us, is that you are super insecure with yourself.  You have problems.  If your fine and your telling us, what you're really saying is "I'm fine, but pathetic."  Do us all a favor.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself how good you look, but keep your opinion to yourself.  If you are fine, we already know.

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