Sunday, May 2, 2010

Keeping it real

O.K. It's 2pm in sunny California. I REALLY need to clean my house & then get ready for work. It's a short shift tonight, so it shouldn't be that hard. The problem is I'M SO SAD! I just wanna cry. Went across the street to the beach and laid in the sun for an hour, thinking that would cheer me up. A little sunshine for me usually goes a long way. How do I turn off my brain? I'm just so sad. I can't stop thinking about how f'd up things are. or how did things get so f'd up? I'm crying while i'm writing this. God! I'm a mess!
I need to clean my house, I need to get ready for work, instead i'm sitting at my computer, crying, doing nothing of what I need to do.
My therapist (yes, Im in therapy too!) says its good for me to cry. It doesn't feel good. It feels bad! I feel bad! It's gonna take a lot for me to pull myself together.

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