Saturday, November 19, 2011

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?

WARNING:  DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS.  ADULT CONTENT.

I can't believe I'm writing about this, but I feel I must.  It's personal, but must be shared.  So here goes:

O.k. So Im dating in Orange County which is a whole experience in itself.  There seems to be only three or four categories of men in the O.C:

1.  They drive a Bentley and have tons of money so they think they can treat you any kind of way.  They know there are many women who will tolerate this behavior. It's called selling your soul.
2.  They have no money and  want you to take care of them.  They are looking for a mommy.
3.  They are trying to pretend to be somebody they are not.  or..They are an actor.


At least this is what I have come across.  So, with a smile on my face I go out into the world and everyday am shocked an amazed to see what is out there.  Recently I met a guy who has captured my interest beyond just the first date.  That in itself is quite rare.  Now, of course he has his issues, and of course I have mine.  But he is smart and funny and keeps me on my toes.  I never liked the easy, dumb guys.
So I'm out with this guy and somehow the question comes up, "when was the last time you had sex?"
and like an idiot...I answer.  And, like an even bigger idiot I answer honestly.
uhhh....2 years.  O.K. don't everyone go into cardiac arrest o.k.  Especially those that know me.  It wasn't planned that way, it just happened.  I didn't say I lost my sexual desire.  I just said it hasn't worked out for me.  You see I have done the one night stands.  Too many times.  I'm over it.  Yes, I could go out tonight if I wanted, meet a guy, and have sex.  Matter of fact, I'm quite sure I could go out this morning, walk to the coffee shop and bring a guy home if I wanted.  Men are easy.  Sorry fella's. You just are.  In fact, I could weigh 300 pounds and probably still get a guy to sleep with me.  Some men like big women.  I see it everyday, and I bet you do to.  I big girl walking down the street holding the hand of a man.  There is someone for everyone.  I just happen to be a little more particular.

I have girlfriends who love the easy, young,  hot guys who have washboard abs and worship the ground they walk on.  Lets face it.  We are not 20 anymore.  With age comes a certain beauty in women.  We know are bodies.  We are not shy or awkward or unsure of ourselves.  This is attractive to men.  They can feel confidence.
So here I am, super confident, attractive, and so not willing to jump into bed with the first guy I meet.  or the second, or the third.  First and foremost, I have learned that I am a cerebral women.  You must excite my mind.  Without that, there is nothing.  That narrows down the first 75% of men in Orange County.  I'm not sure but it might be higher then that.  Second,  Yes I know I have a great body.  If you comment on that, other then giving me a compliment, and No "nice rack" is not a compliment, then I am just not interested.  You automatically get cut.  Third, it takes more then a pretty face, a nice body, or a Bentley.  I'm a little harder to please.  So you see my dilemma.  I've just cut off 90% of the men in Orange County.  The ten percent left seem to be hiding under a bush.  They might be dressed as a frog.  It's difficult to tell. So yes.  It's been two years since I've had sex.  It might be another two.  It's a choice I make willingly.  I'd rather not settle.
Please all you crazy men, don't message me telling me how you can change my mind, or I just need to give you a shot.  Really?  I've heard that before.  How about you just be you, and I'll decide if your worthy.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

SUBSTANCE

The dictionary defines substance as "the actual matter of a thing, as opposed to the appearance or shadow; reality."  
If you go by that definition, the actual matter of dating men in Orange County is completely lacking substance.  Hence my dilemma.  You see I have chosen the word 'substance' as  sort of my theme word.  My mantra, you could say.
When I go out and meet someone, which pretty much happens daily. I look at them and I say to myself, "does this person has substance?"
Substance is a thing that takes awhile to find out if someone has.  You can't just look at the outside appearance and see if they have it or not.  That's the problem with dating in the O.C.  That's the part that people miss when they are sitting in their little towns in Oklahoma watching the O.C. housewife's and wishing they could live like those women live.  They just don't see that the substance is missing.
So how do you choose?  Yes, he drives a Bentley, but does he have substance?.  For some women this is any easy choice.  A no-brainer.  For me, not so much.  Someone recently asked me what I was looking for.  I am more sure of what I'm NOT looking for, then what I am.  I would like a man that comes with substance.  If he has a Bentley, that's nice too-but not a requirement.  I'd like a man that can recognize that I am worth waiting for.  Just because you don't have sex with me on the first date, doesn't mean I'm not worth the wait.  You might even have to wait awhile.  I'm still worth it.
I find that holding out and waiting for men that have substance brings some heartache.  It would be so much easier to judge men on the kind of car they drive or what they have in their bank account.  He with the most wins.  It's just not that easy for me.  I'd like a little more then that, please.  I'd actually like a nice guy.  Someone who appreciates me and recognizes me for the women I am.  Seems simple really.  But soooo difficult in the beautiful place I live, called Orange County