Match.Com - I QUIT!!!

  I gave it a whirl!  O.K. I did it!  Sort of.  I actually NEVER met someone I met on Match.com.  I just can't seem to get past the ridiculous emails.  Men email me and say the wierdest things.  I just don't understand.  If I'm not going to understand then I'd rather not understand in real life, not cyberspace.  I mean why get dressed, take time out, call a babysitter, and go to all that trouble to meet a guy that probably most likely doesn't look like his picture!  A whole other person shows up!
  I rather BE dressed, BE out, and run into a guy I probably would never date, then actually set up to meet a guy I probably would never date.  Does that make sense?
  To me it does.  I'm not going out on any blind date from a guy I met on Match.  I know it works for some people.  I'm just not the one!  Maybe I watch too many episodes of forensic files.  But seriously, isn't it easier to meet a guy in person then look at a 1/2in by 1/2 inch picture of someone and determine whether he's a nice guy or a serial killer?  Call me crazy, but I think I can judge a person better as a person and not as a small blurb on a dating site.
  For example.  There was this one guy on the site.  He is physically not my type.  Remember I was trying to expand my horizons and not go for looks.  This is what the guy said,


I like what you wrote in your profile. Questions- When was your last serious relationship and what happened? What exactly are you looking for? I am in hawaii for holidays. Looking for a good, honest and loyal woman is challenging in California. Xoxo 


That's me right?! O.K. so I should have actually examined this email.  Looking back I realize that the xoxo ending is kind of immature.  xoxo hugs and kisses??? really??? mmmm.  I dont think so!  Your a stranger!  Also he has a really dorky name.  Also his profile brags all about himself.  But I once again ignored all the warning signs!  I sent him an email back and answered his question "when was your last serious relationship".  I kept my answer short and to the point.  This is how long, this is what happened.  I then said something along the lines of, "It's the Holiday season, so I'm super busy with work right now, and Ill email you when I get a chance."
To which he responded, "You snotty b****!"  hahahaha!  Can you believe that?  He called me a snotty B* because I didn't immediately respond to his email.  He then SENT ME ANOTHER EMAIL, and told me how rude he thought I was because I didn't respond to him, and how he works with executives all the time and I'm not special!  WOW!  
Truthfully, he was  not the only crazy stalker type I came across!  There were other men that were upset I didn't respond right away.  Maybe people on Match.com have a lot of time on their hands.  I thought that was the whole point.  For people that didn't have time on their hands, and didn't like bars so they moved to internet dating?
Anyway.  What I found out was if I just get dressed in the morning, do my hair, try to look cute, and smile everyday, men will approach me!  I just have to put myself out there.  I believe that even if I wasn't cute but put effort in dressing nice, putting on a little make-up, fixing my hair, men would approach me!  Men approach women who look approachable!  So, enough about the internet dating thing.  I must end this by saying, ladies, (or men)  If you are looking to find your match, I suggest you put effort into looking nice, and put a smile on your face, and don't be AFRAID to put yourself out there.  And yes, you will get approached by some weirdo's.  But, you know what they say, "you got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince!"

MATCH.COM - INTERNET DATING???

  I have come to the conclusion I am NOT an internet dater!  I can tell you that it has been worth the $40.00 I paid for one month, just to read the emails, and see pics that are sent my way!  It's endless hours of comic material!

  I jumped on this morning just to check out if I have any new emails.  Here's what one guy instant messaged me at 800am:

Hmmmmidididididseeaputtycat

  Yes, it took me a moment too!  Did he really just write that?  Wait!  How old is this guy?  Oh...He's 49 years old!  Mmmm. No thanks!

  There's more.  I got a 'Happy Hump Day' email.  Yes, some 38 year old guy sent me an email wishing me a 'Happy Hump Day!'

   It gets better!  I've gotten every kind of email from long. life stories, to 'hey you wanna meet'.  Here's the thing;  I can't date anyone that calls himself  'majicstick' or 'cuddly' anything.  Im looking for a date, not a stuffed animal!

  I also cannot date anyone who has that mullet haircut!  I'm sorry fellows, but really????  If your bald, be bald!  DO NOT have a bald head, or partially bald head, and then a long stringy pony tail, or rat tail, whatever you call it, hanging down your neck!  And why does it always look like you grease up the rat tail too?  Like a greasy string stuck to you!  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!  I mean seriously!  

I also cannot date a man that makes $35,000 and is 49 years old.  If your not making more then $35,000 at 49 then you probably cannot afford me.  Call me a gold digger!  Hahaha, which is really funny!  Yeah, I'm a gold digger because I prefer to live somewhere other then a double wide trailer!

  Lastly, I posted on my profile that I prefer black men.  It's not mandatory, just a preference.  Some people prefer dark hair, dark eyes, some prefer blonde, some prefer big, some prefer skinny.  It's all just a preference.  So, I did state my preference.  Why do I keep getting pictures of men that look like they just stepped off a John Deere Tractor??? AND they live in the boondocks!  Like Riverside or something!  Really??

  Did I mention I like smart guys?  I cannot date someone who cannot spell!  Spelling is a must!  Even if you don't know how to spell there is this thing, called 'spellcheck'. ugh!  Am I being too harsh?

  My profile has been viewed 1913 times.  I have 93 emails and 167 winks.  My first week on Match.com I was so impressed at 48 emails.  uhmmm, I've never really been good at math.  I think percentage wise, I'm not doing so well.  I've seen 3 men that are slightly interesting.  3!  Only 3!  And those 3, we have gone back and forth a couple of times through emails.  One lives in the valley.  Geographically undesirable!  One lives near me, but seems a little shy and not so anxious to post his pic.  That's fine.  We will see.  The other is super hot looking (I'm trying not to be into looks) white guy, lives in L.A.  Another not so geographically fit!  And a third, who was actually the front runner, lives quite far, more then an hour away, but looks healthy, wealthy and wise!

  I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails, or follow me on this site, or leave your comments, or post a reply!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?

WARNING:  DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS.  ADULT CONTENT.

I can't believe I'm writing about this, but I feel I must.  It's personal, but must be shared.  So here goes:

O.k. So Im dating in Orange County which is a whole experience in itself.  There seems to be only three or four categories of men in the O.C:

1.  They drive a Bentley and have tons of money so they think they can treat you any kind of way.  They know there are many women who will tolerate this behavior. It's called selling your soul.
2.  They have no money and  want you to take care of them.  They are looking for a mommy.
3.  They are trying to pretend to be somebody they are not.  or..They are an actor.


At least this is what I have come across.  So, with a smile on my face I go out into the world and everyday am shocked an amazed to see what is out there.  Recently I met a guy who has captured my interest beyond just the first date.  That in itself is quite rare.  Now, of course he has his issues, and of course I have mine.  But he is smart and funny and keeps me on my toes.  I never liked the easy, dumb guys.
So I'm out with this guy and somehow the question comes up, "when was the last time you had sex?"
and like an idiot...I answer.  And, like an even bigger idiot I answer honestly.
uhhh....2 years.  O.K. don't everyone go into cardiac arrest o.k.  Especially those that know me.  It wasn't planned that way, it just happened.  I didn't say I lost my sexual desire.  I just said it hasn't worked out for me.  You see I have done the one night stands.  Too many times.  I'm over it.  Yes, I could go out tonight if I wanted, meet a guy, and have sex.  Matter of fact, I'm quite sure I could go out this morning, walk to the coffee shop and bring a guy home if I wanted.  Men are easy.  Sorry fella's. You just are.  In fact, I could weigh 300 pounds and probably still get a guy to sleep with me.  Some men like big women.  I see it everyday, and I bet you do to.  I big girl walking down the street holding the hand of a man.  There is someone for everyone.  I just happen to be a little more particular.

I have girlfriends who love the easy, young,  hot guys who have washboard abs and worship the ground they walk on.  Lets face it.  We are not 20 anymore.  With age comes a certain beauty in women.  We know are bodies.  We are not shy or awkward or unsure of ourselves.  This is attractive to men.  They can feel confidence.
So here I am, super confident, attractive, and so not willing to jump into bed with the first guy I meet.  or the second, or the third.  First and foremost, I have learned that I am a cerebral women.  You must excite my mind.  Without that, there is nothing.  That narrows down the first 75% of men in Orange County.  I'm not sure but it might be higher then that.  Second,  Yes I know I have a great body.  If you comment on that, other then giving me a compliment, and No "nice rack" is not a compliment, then I am just not interested.  You automatically get cut.  Third, it takes more then a pretty face, a nice body, or a Bentley.  I'm a little harder to please.  So you see my dilemma.  I've just cut off 90% of the men in Orange County.  The ten percent left seem to be hiding under a bush.  They might be dressed as a frog.  It's difficult to tell. So yes.  It's been two years since I've had sex.  It might be another two.  It's a choice I make willingly.  I'd rather not settle.
Please all you crazy men, don't message me telling me how you can change my mind, or I just need to give you a shot.  Really?  I've heard that before.  How about you just be you, and I'll decide if your worthy.