To be fine or not to be fine

My husband, or ex-husband, or soon-to-be-ex, or jerk I'm dealing with, or WHATEVER he is, invited me out for Mother's Day dinner.  It's true that he called at 5pm, and then told me how 'it's only natural' for him to be thinking about his baby momma on Mother's day, and would I like to go.  It was an invitation.  We decided on drinks and appetizers and I thought it would be a harmless hour or so.  What could go wrong?  Since my four year old goes everywhere I go, she came too.  Should be a nice evening.
Within the first 30 seconds of sitting down at the restaurant, daddy proceeded to send baby girl pics of seals jumping around making seal noises.  So I ask if he went to Sea World or something.  He tells me no, he went to Pismo Beach.  Now, I know damn well that he didn't drive down the coast to Pismo Beach with his homies.  Obviously he had a date.  Fine. No problem.  Probably some Internet ho, I think to myself.  When his little ploy didn't work, he then proceeds to tell me how fine I look. "thanks" I say.  He then laughs and says, "you not gonna tell me how fine I look, or say anything back?"
uhhh..nooooo.  This is mothers day after all and we are supposed to be talking about me, not how fine you are.  He then tells me how, "when he walks into a room, the women stop breathing!"  or how some women paid him two hundred dollars just to go out.  I tell him he doesn't have to be a prostitute. He's better then that.(?)  Then he tells me everywhere he goes, women stop and stare. 
mental note: next guy I date, will be ugly.
The point is, this is nothing new.  I used to ignore his ramblings about 'how fine' he is, as just an endearing quality.  "oh, that's so cute, he thinks he's fine."  Now, he just gets on my nerves!  I thought it was Mother's Day.  I don't care how 'women stop breathing when he walks into a room."
As a self-confident women, I know other men check me out.  I don't feel the need to tell him, or anyone else, "did you see that guy checking me out?" It's just the way it is.  And fellows, honestly, if you're fine. we know it.  You don't have to tell us.  If you're fine and your telling us, what your really telling us, is that you are super insecure with yourself.  You have problems.  If your fine and your telling us, what you're really saying is "I'm fine, but pathetic."  Do us all a favor.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself how good you look, but keep your opinion to yourself.  If you are fine, we already know.

Mother's Day 2010

Ahhh, Mother's Day.  Here's the part where I should be so happy and excited I am a mother.  But I have teenagers!  I also have a four year old.  My teenagers are putting me through, what everyone warned me about, including my own mother. "one day you'll have kids of your own."  "Wait until you have your own kids." "Be careful what you do, because it all comes back to you."
My only comfort is that I believe I have paid for my sins, and my four year old daughter will not put me through it again.  "God doesn't give you more then you can handle." My teenage boys have put me through enough, that I shouldn't have to go through it again.  I believe it's an even slate for everything I put my parents through, and then some.
My four year daughter is already smarter then the teenagers!  She knows today is mommy's day!  Today I will cook, because that's what I find relaxing.  I think I will cook all day, and drink while I'm doing it!  I found Souplantations' recipe for corn muffins and I plan on baking those.  I plan on making Giant, fattening burgers with all the fixins, avocado's, bacon, cheese, mushrooms, hot sauce, and anything else I can think of to put on my delicious burgers! That should be fun!  Today I will do what I want, and not feel guilty about it.  Today will be about me.
Lastly, my sister in law has invited me over for mothers day dinner.  It's just too sad.  Every time I start thinking about if I should go or not, I just start crying.  My still-husband will be there.  It's too sad for me.  The whole situation.  I think today, mostly, I will stay at home and take care of myself, and not go.
Happy Mothers Day to those who are.