The purpose of this blog is not to get into a 'he said, she said'. Nor do I choose to get into the gory details of everything I have been put through. I'm writing because I cannot possibly be the only person who has gone through this type of pain, and found a way past it. I've read other books like, "Divorce Sucks" by Mary Jo Eustace, ex-wife of Dean Spelling (as in Tori Spelling). Divorce books are great, however, mostly written after the fact. This will be different as I plan to write as I go.

While intellectually I assume that I will get past the pain, emotionally I'm just not quite sure. Everyday is different. Every minute is different. Anything can set me off, into any type of reaction. One minute I may be crying my eyes out as I drive down the street. The next I may be cussing out the coffee shop girl who had the nerve to look at me cross-eyed. I just don't know what is going to happen next. I have been blind-sided, and this blog is for every women who didn't see it coming (Sandra Bullock). And for every man as well, who did right by his women, took care of her, loved her, and then found out later she was cheating with the gardener while he was at work. And then had the nerve to say, "Well you're never home."

This blog is for those of us who don't deserve what we have been put through. In fact, lets just say I was a drug-addicted street-walking prostitute. I STILL don't deserve what I've been put through. Yet somehow I have tolerated it. I'm going to write until I convince myself, and hopefully you, that 'this' is not o.k. Whatever your 'this' is, you deserve better. I deserve better.

The beginning

I never thought I would be in this position at this time in my life. My hopes and dreams were completely different from where I am at now. I had so many beautiful things planned. A thriving business, a husband I loved, a beautiful baby girl, making money, building a dream home. I even had the design picked out!

Instead, I find myself broke, alone, and desperate! Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy! I cry a lot! I've never been a crier, now I find myself crying at odd times, like when I'm driving down the road, and I mean crying hard, where I can't see! It's crazy!

So after 6 months of living separately, it appears that divorce is inevitable. It's so sad. I loved my husband. I must find the strength to move on, for me and my daughter. I cannot live like I have been. It's not good for me or her.

I will write, and hopefully someone will read this and be able to relate. Maybe I will come out a stronger person in the end, and hopefully take someone with me. If you like this and think you might want to follow. please subscribe & tell your friends!