Tuesday, December 4, 2012

GRATEFULNESS

My friend, who I haven't spoken to in a couple of weeks called me yesterday to ask me how I'm doing.  Well...Let's see, I have a job I hate and don't make enough money at.  I have a older son who is mentally ill and walks around talking to himself all day!  I have another son who just discharged from the Army, has been sitting at home all day and NOT applying for jobs.  I have a beautiful daughter who is young and impressionable, who I am raising all by myself. 
So how am I doing?  I am so grateful!  I feel so completely blessed!  I know I don't have the 'perfect' family.  Most people in my family are crazy, some more then others, and I am including myself!  I know Im not perfect and I am o.k. with that.  I pray my older son will get better soon because this is not the life I want for him, nor do I believe it is the life God wants for him.  I pray my younger son will get some motivation and go get a job.  I pray my daughter will live an abundant life full of hope and joys and dreams full-filled.  I pray for myself that I will continue to have strength to raise these kids and be happy doing it!  I pray the stress of life won't get me down.
 I know what it is like to have nothing.  Literally.  I know what it is like to have your kid missing and go in search of him,  handing out posters and asking, 'have you seen him'  I know what it is like to go without dinner so your daughter can eat.  I know what it is like to go days without sleep, so filled with worry and angst.
I don't have to do any of that today.  I don't know about tomorrow, but I do know about today.  My God is a God of suddenly's and suddenly it can all change.  So today I am walking in blind faith and gratefulness to be where I am. Only through the grace of God. Literally.

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