My friend, who I haven't spoken to in a couple of weeks called me yesterday to ask me how I'm doing. Well...Let's see, I have a job I hate and don't make enough money at. I have a older son who is mentally ill and walks around talking to himself all day! I have another son who just discharged from the Army, has been sitting at home all day and NOT applying for jobs. I have a beautiful daughter who is young and impressionable, who I am raising all by myself.
So how am I doing? I am so grateful! I feel so completely blessed! I know I don't have the 'perfect' family. Most people in my family are crazy, some more then others, and I am including myself! I know Im not perfect and I am o.k. with that. I pray my older son will get better soon because this is not the life I want for him, nor do I believe it is the life God wants for him. I pray my younger son will get some motivation and go get a job. I pray my daughter will live an abundant life full of hope and joys and dreams full-filled. I pray for myself that I will continue to have strength to raise these kids and be happy doing it! I pray the stress of life won't get me down.
I know what it is like to have nothing. Literally. I know what it is like to have your kid missing and go in search of him, handing out posters and asking, 'have you seen him' I know what it is like to go without dinner so your daughter can eat. I know what it is like to go days without sleep, so filled with worry and angst.
I don't have to do any of that today. I don't know about tomorrow, but I do know about today. My God is a God of suddenly's and suddenly it can all change. So today I am walking in blind faith and gratefulness to be where I am. Only through the grace of God. Literally.