Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Doing me

Much has happened since the last time i blogged. The ex has come crying back professing his undying love. Yea right. A year in therapy, practically homeless if not for the grace of God, having to start over, and all the other b.s. i've gone through has taught me something.
First & foremost. Actions speak louder then words. Duh....Im sad to say that i have fell for that song and dance a few times before. Some men know all the right things to say. Others know all the right things to do. Ill be paying attention to the 'do gooders' from here on out.
On a personal note. Im better. I no longer have days that i feel like im breaking down. I do have sad days where im sad for the husband that i truly loved is gone. Its terrible. But that man i fell in love with is no longer that man. Whoever, whatever, he turned into, is not what i want. This year has been a year of tremendous
Growth & spiritual growth. One thing for sure is without God i am nothing. I have made it through the worst of the worst. I feel like being homeless because husband walked out & emptied bank accounts & left me & daughter on our own is about as bad as it gets. From here there is no where to go but up.
With that said i am moving forward. Some days are easier then others. Most days are really good.
Financially still no court date, or lawyer to help, & i still struggle. But i know its not forever, & God is going to take care of me. I know this because i pray every day & every night & most of the day throughout the day.
So for some people a year seems like a long time. For me it does. I'm hopeful that one day i will look back on this all & laugh. In the meantime i will keep praying. I hope u do too!
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