Saturday, September 25, 2010


I'm sure that this post is going to make some people upset. Let me just apologize for that ahead of time. I'll start by saying from the beginning, that I am most certainly not a racist! I happen to be white. It's just a fluke. Actually, my nationality is Sicilian, if that makes a difference.

Anyway, my first husband was white, and my current husband is black. I have white children and mixed children. I never considered race an issue. Ever. For me, it's all about the person on the inside. While good looks may be nice, those looks fade. I really don't even care what a person look likes. As long as they have a good heart, and believe in God.

Which leads me to where I am. I married a good man. Sadly, that man went crazy and lost his mind. It had nothing to do with me. He has his own demons to wrestle, and I can't help him. My question on the race issue is this: How does a black man just walk away for his child? Forget about how he feels for the women. What about the child? I think this may be a race thing.

My current husband, soon to be ex, just one day day walked out the door and never looked back. We have a four year old daughter. He doesn't call, doesn't see her. Just 'oh well, you don't love me anymore so I'm gone." This makes it even harder to love a man, who can so easily walk away from his family. I don't know any white men that do this. I mean, sorry to keep it real, but that's real. Every white man I have ever known, heard about, whatever, still sees their kids no matter what. Maybe because they KNOW that they will have to pay more child support if they don't. But really, it seems like a lot of black men have no problem just walking away from their kids. Is it because their dads were not around? What is it really? I would really really like to know.

Lastly, I find myself in the dilema of have to literally reach out to the black community to find positive roll models for my half-black daughter to embrace. She's around too many white people. There are literally no African Americans in her life. When her daddy walked out, her grandma stopped calling, Auntie, everbody she knew and loved and saw on a regular basis. Which makes me think that it is a black thing. Forget about their feelings for me. How does everyone just turn their backs on a four year old child?

And this is what I am wrestling with today. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Any comments on how to find positive role models in the african amercian community (especially men) would be great too.

Thank You and God Bless

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