I started out this blog as a journal type thing, hoping that in the process I would reach others that may be going through the same type of thing I am. With the advice of some friends, I moved to not so much telling my story, but offering advice. What a joke that is. My purpose of offering advice was perhaps to reach more readers. I now know that I am hardly the person to be giving advice. I am no 'Dr. Laura'. What works for me, may not work for you.
So I am back to telling my story. This time really real. I withheld information to protect who? Not me? I really cant tell my story without telling the WHOLE story.
Some things have happened in the past month that really change the equation. Good or Bad, Im not sure which. I just know that its time for me to tell my story, and hopefully reach other women that are going through the same thing. Maybe they will get something out of it. Hopefully, at the very least, A laugh.
It's been 11 months since my husband walked out the door leaving myself and my daughter high and dry. He literally walked out. It took me roughly about three months to figure out he wasn't coming back. Three months of endless sleepless nights. Three months of crying non-stop, three months of letting him come back for a night, or a couple of hours, three months of accepting full blame and believing if I was only a better person he would come back. Three months of not eating. Three months of HELL. And it didn't stop there...
At the end of three months I figured out very quickly, "oh crap. I'm about to be homeless." You see when the husband left, he took all of the money from the business that I STARTED with him. Yes, he paid support for a few months, but not nearly half of what the business brought in, and certainly less then what I deserved. I was happy that he was paying something, I just wanted him back,. I didn't make a stink. I just accepted what he said he was going to pay for support and begged him to come home.
WOW! That's so crazy just writing that! Im 11 months down the road now. Things are much different. I would say from about 3 to 9 months I pulled myself up from my bootstraps, became the gansta that I am, and made things happen. I mean I was really on one! I worked like a dog. I called everyone I knew. I found out where to get assistance. I called homeless shelters. I went to food banks. I called the bank everyday and begged them not to take my car! I mean, things were really rough for a long time. My husband (lets just refer to him as the 'Pig' from now on.) The Pig paid child support & my car payment from Novemember until June. As he should. Still not half of what the business I STARTED was making. Less then a third actually. But I was ok with the car payment and support. And I accepted it. Then in June he decided not to pay my car payment. As a matter of fact he told me the day the car payment was due, that he wasn't going to pay. Hence all the phone calls. Calling the bank, homeless shelters ( I could no longer afford rent) DPSS...I mean the list is endless and I spent most of my days trying to figure out how to live. No time to be sad or depressed, or even hope he was coming back.
During this time of going through life like a freaking tornado, a women on a mission, the mission of survival. I really didnt have time to cry or wallow in self pity. There was no time for that. I gave myself a year to get it together. I'm now at 11 months.
I have a new house now. A beautiful house. A house that I feel is a gift from God. I feel so special getting presents from God. A house I can afford, in a beautiful neighborhood. All those phone calls paid off. I have a job too. It pays the bills. Thats a good thing. Im sure a better job will come along as soon as I am more settled. Right now, Im not even looking. Heres the point Im getting too:
I cant believe I ever wanted this loser back! Honestly! What the hell was I thinking???? I dont know what happened to the guy I married. But this ain't the guy. Oh I do know what happened, but Ill save that for another blog.
None of which is my problem now. I will move on. I can tell you some days really really suck. Some days I laugh my a** off. Some days I just love being a mom, and some days, I wish I could crawl in bed all day and not get out. Some days, I'd like to suck down some tequila. Some days I want to go out dancing but can't because I have no babysitter. Some days, I feel really sorry for myself. This is shit is just ridiculous!
I will pass on the only lesson I know works for sure. There may come other lessons later. This is what I know today. It's ok to cry. Its ok to put on your pj's and crawl in bed and cry. Especially if its raining. It's ok to laugh too. Its ok whatever it is you are doing. Your right there where your supposed to be.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
IS IT A RACE THING?
I'm sure that this post is going to make some people upset. Let me just apologize for that ahead of time. I'll start by saying from the beginning, that I am most certainly not a racist! I happen to be white. It's just a fluke. Actually, my nationality is Sicilian, if that makes a difference.
Anyway, my first husband was white, and my current husband is black. I have white children and mixed children. I never considered race an issue. Ever. For me, it's all about the person on the inside. While good looks may be nice, those looks fade. I really don't even care what a person look likes. As long as they have a good heart, and believe in God.
Which leads me to where I am. I married a good man. Sadly, that man went crazy and lost his mind. It had nothing to do with me. He has his own demons to wrestle, and I can't help him. My question on the race issue is this: How does a black man just walk away for his child? Forget about how he feels for the women. What about the child? I think this may be a race thing.
My current husband, soon to be ex, just one day day walked out the door and never looked back. We have a four year old daughter. He doesn't call, doesn't see her. Just 'oh well, you don't love me anymore so I'm gone." This makes it even harder to love a man, who can so easily walk away from his family. I don't know any white men that do this. I mean, sorry to keep it real, but that's real. Every white man I have ever known, heard about, whatever, still sees their kids no matter what. Maybe because they KNOW that they will have to pay more child support if they don't. But really, it seems like a lot of black men have no problem just walking away from their kids. Is it because their dads were not around? What is it really? I would really really like to know.
Lastly, I find myself in the dilema of have to literally reach out to the black community to find positive roll models for my half-black daughter to embrace. She's around too many white people. There are literally no African Americans in her life. When her daddy walked out, her grandma stopped calling, Auntie, everbody she knew and loved and saw on a regular basis. Which makes me think that it is a black thing. Forget about their feelings for me. How does everyone just turn their backs on a four year old child?
And this is what I am wrestling with today. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Any comments on how to find positive role models in the african amercian community (especially men) would be great too.
Thank You and God Bless
http://thegreygirldiaries.blogspot.com/
Anyway, my first husband was white, and my current husband is black. I have white children and mixed children. I never considered race an issue. Ever. For me, it's all about the person on the inside. While good looks may be nice, those looks fade. I really don't even care what a person look likes. As long as they have a good heart, and believe in God.
Which leads me to where I am. I married a good man. Sadly, that man went crazy and lost his mind. It had nothing to do with me. He has his own demons to wrestle, and I can't help him. My question on the race issue is this: How does a black man just walk away for his child? Forget about how he feels for the women. What about the child? I think this may be a race thing.
My current husband, soon to be ex, just one day day walked out the door and never looked back. We have a four year old daughter. He doesn't call, doesn't see her. Just 'oh well, you don't love me anymore so I'm gone." This makes it even harder to love a man, who can so easily walk away from his family. I don't know any white men that do this. I mean, sorry to keep it real, but that's real. Every white man I have ever known, heard about, whatever, still sees their kids no matter what. Maybe because they KNOW that they will have to pay more child support if they don't. But really, it seems like a lot of black men have no problem just walking away from their kids. Is it because their dads were not around? What is it really? I would really really like to know.
Lastly, I find myself in the dilema of have to literally reach out to the black community to find positive roll models for my half-black daughter to embrace. She's around too many white people. There are literally no African Americans in her life. When her daddy walked out, her grandma stopped calling, Auntie, everbody she knew and loved and saw on a regular basis. Which makes me think that it is a black thing. Forget about their feelings for me. How does everyone just turn their backs on a four year old child?
And this is what I am wrestling with today. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Any comments on how to find positive role models in the african amercian community (especially men) would be great too.
Thank You and God Bless
http://thegreygirldiaries.blogspot.com/
Monday, September 6, 2010
THE FORGETTING DISEASE
The forgetting disease is plain and simple. It's the disease that will make you forget your past mistakes over and over again.
I have it. My mother has it, my best friend has it, and I dare say 90% of women definitely have it it too! Men don't often carry the forgetting disease. They seem to be immune.
Thankfully there is a cure. I am recovering at this very moment form the forgetting disease. If you have never heard of the disease, much less a remedy for it, I am here to tell you there is one.
The forgetting disease is where all the little things your significant other has done to you is quickly forgotten. For instance, maybe you were out with your significant other, and he kept staring and staring and another women. So much so, that really you got upset. You maybe were standing there screaming, "helllllooooo' and he sill completely ignores you. Maybe it even caused a huge fight.. He insists that he wasn't staring at another women and you wonder if it's possible at all that he actually wasn't and you are crazy like he says.
But you fight and make up and then you 'forget' all about it. Until years down the road....
When you find him on the Internet, staring, or worse, at other women over and over, and then you remember about that one, or two incidents that you forgot all about. It dawns on you that the signs were all there. You just chose to 'forget.'
In the past there have been so many little things that I have chosen to forget all about. However, I realize that the forgetting disease could very well be the death of me. It's so important that I remember. If I don't remember I could quite possibly fall into the same trap that got me in this mess to begin with. Like many others, I fell for a smooth talker. When I say smooth talker, I mean smooth talker. Instead of taking care of me and making sure I had a job that I got paid well for, I fell for the, 'let's build our dream together." Only it wasn't our dream, it was his dream. I thought it was our dream. I forgot I had my own dreams.
So, in order to have healthy recovery from the forgetting disease, I have taken certain steps to ensure no further relapse. I take notes! I take a lot of notes. I save all the crazy text messages, emails, and voice mails. One day they are professing undying love, the next calling me every name in the book. I keep these emails for one reason and one reason only. 'The Forgetting Disease!'
Some may say it is bad energy to keep these negative messages. I believe some of this is true. I don't read them, or re-read them, only in times of desperate need. It's like drinking a tall glass of fresh squeezed Orange juice for the common cold. I immediately feel better.As I recover from the forgetting disease, and the ex starts to come around, He sniffs around me like a dog in heat. The moment I start to get back on my feet. It's like some bizarre instinct he has, anyway, the moment I start to do well, and he starts smooth talking me. That's when I whip out my notes! emails, texts, whatever. It's an immediate cure of the forgetting disease. Damn! He's really done some terrible things!
My therapist recommends a journal, I recommend saving stuff. Whatever works for you, please do it. I don't say this to discourage any kind of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important. For you and the person you are forgiving. I'm not sure if I forgive the ex yet. Hopefully I'll get to that place one day. But in the meantime, I do not want to have the forgetting disease. Stayng disease free keeps me strong and able to achieve my own dreams, my own goals, and my own happiness.
I have it. My mother has it, my best friend has it, and I dare say 90% of women definitely have it it too! Men don't often carry the forgetting disease. They seem to be immune.
Thankfully there is a cure. I am recovering at this very moment form the forgetting disease. If you have never heard of the disease, much less a remedy for it, I am here to tell you there is one.
The forgetting disease is where all the little things your significant other has done to you is quickly forgotten. For instance, maybe you were out with your significant other, and he kept staring and staring and another women. So much so, that really you got upset. You maybe were standing there screaming, "helllllooooo' and he sill completely ignores you. Maybe it even caused a huge fight.. He insists that he wasn't staring at another women and you wonder if it's possible at all that he actually wasn't and you are crazy like he says.
But you fight and make up and then you 'forget' all about it. Until years down the road....
When you find him on the Internet, staring, or worse, at other women over and over, and then you remember about that one, or two incidents that you forgot all about. It dawns on you that the signs were all there. You just chose to 'forget.'
In the past there have been so many little things that I have chosen to forget all about. However, I realize that the forgetting disease could very well be the death of me. It's so important that I remember. If I don't remember I could quite possibly fall into the same trap that got me in this mess to begin with. Like many others, I fell for a smooth talker. When I say smooth talker, I mean smooth talker. Instead of taking care of me and making sure I had a job that I got paid well for, I fell for the, 'let's build our dream together." Only it wasn't our dream, it was his dream. I thought it was our dream. I forgot I had my own dreams.
So, in order to have healthy recovery from the forgetting disease, I have taken certain steps to ensure no further relapse. I take notes! I take a lot of notes. I save all the crazy text messages, emails, and voice mails. One day they are professing undying love, the next calling me every name in the book. I keep these emails for one reason and one reason only. 'The Forgetting Disease!'
Some may say it is bad energy to keep these negative messages. I believe some of this is true. I don't read them, or re-read them, only in times of desperate need. It's like drinking a tall glass of fresh squeezed Orange juice for the common cold. I immediately feel better.As I recover from the forgetting disease, and the ex starts to come around, He sniffs around me like a dog in heat. The moment I start to get back on my feet. It's like some bizarre instinct he has, anyway, the moment I start to do well, and he starts smooth talking me. That's when I whip out my notes! emails, texts, whatever. It's an immediate cure of the forgetting disease. Damn! He's really done some terrible things!
My therapist recommends a journal, I recommend saving stuff. Whatever works for you, please do it. I don't say this to discourage any kind of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important. For you and the person you are forgiving. I'm not sure if I forgive the ex yet. Hopefully I'll get to that place one day. But in the meantime, I do not want to have the forgetting disease. Stayng disease free keeps me strong and able to achieve my own dreams, my own goals, and my own happiness.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
LESSON 3
There is no title for Lesson 3. It is what it is. YOU MUST PUT YOURSELF FIRST! Above all else, make sure that you have the things you need. Make sure that YOU are taken care of. God will help, or show you the way, or send you an angel, but it is up to you to step up and recognize, and take care of yourself.
What I mean by that is this; If your like me, there are days when you just feel like laying in bed and dying. I don't care if your a man or women. There are days when it's difficult to get out of bed. But you must. You must get up and take care of yourself or you are no good to anyone around you. I have found that just a simple thing like straightening my hair makes me feel better. This is no easy feat. It takes a good hour and a half to straighten my hair and it's a pain in the ass, but it's part of taking care of myself. Give yourself a clean shave (men), paint your nails, do your hair, put on make up. Even if your not going anywhere.
Then go somewhere.
I have become a master at finding bargains and deals, shopping for little to no money, & finding free excursions. I will get into all that in a later lesson. This lesson is about taking care of you. It's so important to take care of yourself. In difficult times we tend to be too depressed to take care of us. The basic needs of the kids, or work, is about all we can handle. "Fake it til you make it." That's the motto I have adopted. Pretend. Act 'as if'. As if your life is perfect, as if your wealthy & beautiful, as if you don't have a care in the world. Act 'as if.'.
Last week I had to stalk my ex to get a child support check. By stalking I mean I had to drive to his job and sit outside and wait for him to show up to pick up his pay. When he finally did show up he came to my car window and gave me this super sad face, and 'whoa is me' tale about how he got a ticket and forgot to show up in court, and how they are going to take his license if he doesn't pay it, and that's why he can't give me child support. I swear I even saw a tear.
I'm so embarrassed to admit it, but I actually felt sorry for him. I actually picked up my phone to call my sister and tell her the money that I borrowed from her so I could TAKE CARE OF ME, (& baby gurl) I wouldn't be able to pay back this week. Instead of my sisters' number pulling up, magically my phone scrolled to the text messages I had save from my crazy ex. You know the ones. That's where the person who once loved you and swore you where the best thing that ever happened to him, sends you texts calling you a whore and many other choice expletives. I saved those texts, just in case I need them to prove to the court that he actually is crazy. Magically those texts reappeared just when I was feeling so for him. Funny how that works.
So I read all of them. And then I marched my perfect little ass, you know, the one he'll never get to touch again, right on down to the courthouse. I stood in line for two hours. The whole time re-reading every text and plotting and planning on how I would take him for every penny he has! Let him be homeless on the street. Not me. Not my daughter. Time to take care of me! I'm going to make sure that I have everything I need. Food on the table, roof over my head, hair done, nails done, and looking as good as I possibly can!
And guess what. I FEEL Better.
I don't have money for an attorney. But there are tons of Legal Aid foundations that are out there and will help you fill out paperwork. In fact, they will tell you what forms you need, and then each form has instructions. So as long as you can read, YOU can file for child support and spousal support! And if you can't read, there are programs for that too. Check your local library.
I have been back and forth to legal aid about 20 times, no exaggeration. I fill out the forms, then I bring them to have an attorney intern look at them, then they tell me what to correct, then I correct, then I bring them back again. And I do it over and over again until I have it right. If your really nice, people will help you. There is no reason to suffer, or let your kids suffer. You know what else I learned? I don't have any money for an attorney because my crazy ex stole it all. But he has money. And the judge will order him to pay attorney fees! hah! And he can't just stop working so he doesn't have to pay child support. There are laws against that too!
So, Ladies and gentleman. Time to take care of yourself. Get up and make yourself look cute, (or handsome) do whatever makes you feel your best, and you know what that is. Do it clean and sober. After your done, make sure you and your kids have what they need. If that means 'show no mercy.' then 'show no mercy.' Everyone is a child of God, and it will all work out as it should. Don't let anyone sucker you into believing they are more important, or somehow you don't deserve to be taken care of. You do deserve it.
What I mean by that is this; If your like me, there are days when you just feel like laying in bed and dying. I don't care if your a man or women. There are days when it's difficult to get out of bed. But you must. You must get up and take care of yourself or you are no good to anyone around you. I have found that just a simple thing like straightening my hair makes me feel better. This is no easy feat. It takes a good hour and a half to straighten my hair and it's a pain in the ass, but it's part of taking care of myself. Give yourself a clean shave (men), paint your nails, do your hair, put on make up. Even if your not going anywhere.
Then go somewhere.
I have become a master at finding bargains and deals, shopping for little to no money, & finding free excursions. I will get into all that in a later lesson. This lesson is about taking care of you. It's so important to take care of yourself. In difficult times we tend to be too depressed to take care of us. The basic needs of the kids, or work, is about all we can handle. "Fake it til you make it." That's the motto I have adopted. Pretend. Act 'as if'. As if your life is perfect, as if your wealthy & beautiful, as if you don't have a care in the world. Act 'as if.'.
Last week I had to stalk my ex to get a child support check. By stalking I mean I had to drive to his job and sit outside and wait for him to show up to pick up his pay. When he finally did show up he came to my car window and gave me this super sad face, and 'whoa is me' tale about how he got a ticket and forgot to show up in court, and how they are going to take his license if he doesn't pay it, and that's why he can't give me child support. I swear I even saw a tear.
I'm so embarrassed to admit it, but I actually felt sorry for him. I actually picked up my phone to call my sister and tell her the money that I borrowed from her so I could TAKE CARE OF ME, (& baby gurl) I wouldn't be able to pay back this week. Instead of my sisters' number pulling up, magically my phone scrolled to the text messages I had save from my crazy ex. You know the ones. That's where the person who once loved you and swore you where the best thing that ever happened to him, sends you texts calling you a whore and many other choice expletives. I saved those texts, just in case I need them to prove to the court that he actually is crazy. Magically those texts reappeared just when I was feeling so for him. Funny how that works.
So I read all of them. And then I marched my perfect little ass, you know, the one he'll never get to touch again, right on down to the courthouse. I stood in line for two hours. The whole time re-reading every text and plotting and planning on how I would take him for every penny he has! Let him be homeless on the street. Not me. Not my daughter. Time to take care of me! I'm going to make sure that I have everything I need. Food on the table, roof over my head, hair done, nails done, and looking as good as I possibly can!
And guess what. I FEEL Better.
I don't have money for an attorney. But there are tons of Legal Aid foundations that are out there and will help you fill out paperwork. In fact, they will tell you what forms you need, and then each form has instructions. So as long as you can read, YOU can file for child support and spousal support! And if you can't read, there are programs for that too. Check your local library.
I have been back and forth to legal aid about 20 times, no exaggeration. I fill out the forms, then I bring them to have an attorney intern look at them, then they tell me what to correct, then I correct, then I bring them back again. And I do it over and over again until I have it right. If your really nice, people will help you. There is no reason to suffer, or let your kids suffer. You know what else I learned? I don't have any money for an attorney because my crazy ex stole it all. But he has money. And the judge will order him to pay attorney fees! hah! And he can't just stop working so he doesn't have to pay child support. There are laws against that too!
So, Ladies and gentleman. Time to take care of yourself. Get up and make yourself look cute, (or handsome) do whatever makes you feel your best, and you know what that is. Do it clean and sober. After your done, make sure you and your kids have what they need. If that means 'show no mercy.' then 'show no mercy.' Everyone is a child of God, and it will all work out as it should. Don't let anyone sucker you into believing they are more important, or somehow you don't deserve to be taken care of. You do deserve it.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
PRAY FOR IT
This should have been the first step. But it's ok if you cry first. Just don't forget to pray. If your not a believer then may i kindly suggest you reconsider. Im here to tell you God answers prayers. I am living proof.
Just two weeks ago I was calling around looking for womens shelters for myself & four year old daughter. Thats because my loser ex 'has his own bills to pay'. Apparently that comes before the welfare of his child. I couldn't pay rent and wasn't sure what i was going to do. So i prayed. It sounds funny right? Like how is prayer going to pay the rent? I don't know how it does, it just does.
You must put your faith in God. 100%. God does and will take care of you. It is my belief that if you are living true to God, he will take care of you. In other words, you cant lie, cheat & steal, destroy your self by using drugs, or heavily drinking, claim your a christian & quote the bible, then abuse yourself, family, or friends. You must try to do the best you can do with the life God gave you. He doesn't expect perfection. Just effort.
Lesson 2. Pray. Pray. And Pray. When your not praying, Live as honestly as you can. And when your prayers are answered, dont forget to say Thank You.
Thank You.
Just two weeks ago I was calling around looking for womens shelters for myself & four year old daughter. Thats because my loser ex 'has his own bills to pay'. Apparently that comes before the welfare of his child. I couldn't pay rent and wasn't sure what i was going to do. So i prayed. It sounds funny right? Like how is prayer going to pay the rent? I don't know how it does, it just does.
You must put your faith in God. 100%. God does and will take care of you. It is my belief that if you are living true to God, he will take care of you. In other words, you cant lie, cheat & steal, destroy your self by using drugs, or heavily drinking, claim your a christian & quote the bible, then abuse yourself, family, or friends. You must try to do the best you can do with the life God gave you. He doesn't expect perfection. Just effort.
Lesson 2. Pray. Pray. And Pray. When your not praying, Live as honestly as you can. And when your prayers are answered, dont forget to say Thank You.
Thank You.
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
TAKING BABY STEPS
07/21/2010
I have decide to write my blog a little differently. Instead of whining about all the trouble, emotions, and hell I am going through I have decide to help other women (and men)! If today is the first day of you following my blog then your in luck!
Here's the thing. I spend most of my days running with my head cut off. I am basically trying to recover from the fact that my husband abandoned myself and my four year old daughter. He walked out November 4, 2009 and just never came back.. It took at least three months for me to figure out that he wasn't coming back. Did I mention he stole all my money when he left? Yup, took the business that I started for him (I thought I was starting the business for us), he left, and took the business that I started along with all the money we had, and just walked out.
I'm not bitter or anything. I don't have time. The last 8 months have been spent trying to ensure I have a home a to live in,. food on the table, and provide my daughter what she needs. I don't have time to be bitter. And that ladies and gentleman is Lesson Number 1.
1. Do not waste your time on being bitter. Don't waste your time asking yourself, " what could I have done differently?' Sometimes, the people we marry are just idiots. They have their own issues and it has nothing to do with you. If your wife says, "I cheated on you because your never home." And your never home because your working all the time to pay the bills. Then 'F-her!" move on. Don't waste your time fretting over what you could have done different.
If you supported your husband through law school and then he leaves you to boink the young, hot secretary, then 'F-Him too!' Or-If your husband walked out because now you have four kids, and he thinks he can get more attention or do better somewhere else then 'F-Him'.
Have a cry, or two, then drink a cup of tea, or something stronger, and MOVE ON! Life is short! Don't waste your time fretting over someone who just doesn't deserve the time, energy or emotional havoc it takes on you and your body! Sad bodies become out of shape, feel crappy, and really don't look good!
Today, have a happy body! If you have to go into the bathroom, or a quite place at work, or walk around the block. Do it. Do it now! Take five minutes to be sad, then just move on. You will get better I promise!
Take it from me, I know. I loved my husband deeply with every part of my being. I thought we would be together forever. I was building a life with him, that maybe wasn't perfect. but I was happy. I never thought he would walk out! But all of that matters not. The point is, I am getting better, and it is getting easier, and I will come out stronger. In fact I can see that happening now. Right now before my very eyes!
Today's lesson: Take five or ten minutes to be sad. (don't take more then 15 minutes!) cry, take a walk, do whatever you have to do, and then move on! Don't waste another minute on what woulda, coulda, shoulda, just MOVE ON!
I have decide to write my blog a little differently. Instead of whining about all the trouble, emotions, and hell I am going through I have decide to help other women (and men)! If today is the first day of you following my blog then your in luck!
Here's the thing. I spend most of my days running with my head cut off. I am basically trying to recover from the fact that my husband abandoned myself and my four year old daughter. He walked out November 4, 2009 and just never came back.. It took at least three months for me to figure out that he wasn't coming back. Did I mention he stole all my money when he left? Yup, took the business that I started for him (I thought I was starting the business for us), he left, and took the business that I started along with all the money we had, and just walked out.
I'm not bitter or anything. I don't have time. The last 8 months have been spent trying to ensure I have a home a to live in,. food on the table, and provide my daughter what she needs. I don't have time to be bitter. And that ladies and gentleman is Lesson Number 1.
1. Do not waste your time on being bitter. Don't waste your time asking yourself, " what could I have done differently?' Sometimes, the people we marry are just idiots. They have their own issues and it has nothing to do with you. If your wife says, "I cheated on you because your never home." And your never home because your working all the time to pay the bills. Then 'F-her!" move on. Don't waste your time fretting over what you could have done different.
If you supported your husband through law school and then he leaves you to boink the young, hot secretary, then 'F-Him too!' Or-If your husband walked out because now you have four kids, and he thinks he can get more attention or do better somewhere else then 'F-Him'.
Have a cry, or two, then drink a cup of tea, or something stronger, and MOVE ON! Life is short! Don't waste your time fretting over someone who just doesn't deserve the time, energy or emotional havoc it takes on you and your body! Sad bodies become out of shape, feel crappy, and really don't look good!
Today, have a happy body! If you have to go into the bathroom, or a quite place at work, or walk around the block. Do it. Do it now! Take five minutes to be sad, then just move on. You will get better I promise!
Take it from me, I know. I loved my husband deeply with every part of my being. I thought we would be together forever. I was building a life with him, that maybe wasn't perfect. but I was happy. I never thought he would walk out! But all of that matters not. The point is, I am getting better, and it is getting easier, and I will come out stronger. In fact I can see that happening now. Right now before my very eyes!
Today's lesson: Take five or ten minutes to be sad. (don't take more then 15 minutes!) cry, take a walk, do whatever you have to do, and then move on! Don't waste another minute on what woulda, coulda, shoulda, just MOVE ON!
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