My friend, who I haven't spoken to in a couple of weeks called me yesterday to ask me how I'm doing. Well...Let's see, I have a job I hate and don't make enough money at. I have a older son who is mentally ill and walks around talking to himself all day! I have another son who just discharged from the Army, has been sitting at home all day and NOT applying for jobs. I have a beautiful daughter who is young and impressionable, who I am raising all by myself.
So how am I doing? I am so grateful! I feel so completely blessed! I know I don't have the 'perfect' family. Most people in my family are crazy, some more then others, and I am including myself! I know Im not perfect and I am o.k. with that. I pray my older son will get better soon because this is not the life I want for him, nor do I believe it is the life God wants for him. I pray my younger son will get some motivation and go get a job. I pray my daughter will live an abundant life full of hope and joys and dreams full-filled. I pray for myself that I will continue to have strength to raise these kids and be happy doing it! I pray the stress of life won't get me down.
I know what it is like to have nothing. Literally. I know what it is like to have your kid missing and go in search of him, handing out posters and asking, 'have you seen him' I know what it is like to go without dinner so your daughter can eat. I know what it is like to go days without sleep, so filled with worry and angst.
I don't have to do any of that today. I don't know about tomorrow, but I do know about today. My God is a God of suddenly's and suddenly it can all change. So today I am walking in blind faith and gratefulness to be where I am. Only through the grace of God. Literally.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Monday, September 6, 2010
THE FORGETTING DISEASE
The forgetting disease is plain and simple. It's the disease that will make you forget your past mistakes over and over again.
I have it. My mother has it, my best friend has it, and I dare say 90% of women definitely have it it too! Men don't often carry the forgetting disease. They seem to be immune.
Thankfully there is a cure. I am recovering at this very moment form the forgetting disease. If you have never heard of the disease, much less a remedy for it, I am here to tell you there is one.
The forgetting disease is where all the little things your significant other has done to you is quickly forgotten. For instance, maybe you were out with your significant other, and he kept staring and staring and another women. So much so, that really you got upset. You maybe were standing there screaming, "helllllooooo' and he sill completely ignores you. Maybe it even caused a huge fight.. He insists that he wasn't staring at another women and you wonder if it's possible at all that he actually wasn't and you are crazy like he says.
But you fight and make up and then you 'forget' all about it. Until years down the road....
When you find him on the Internet, staring, or worse, at other women over and over, and then you remember about that one, or two incidents that you forgot all about. It dawns on you that the signs were all there. You just chose to 'forget.'
In the past there have been so many little things that I have chosen to forget all about. However, I realize that the forgetting disease could very well be the death of me. It's so important that I remember. If I don't remember I could quite possibly fall into the same trap that got me in this mess to begin with. Like many others, I fell for a smooth talker. When I say smooth talker, I mean smooth talker. Instead of taking care of me and making sure I had a job that I got paid well for, I fell for the, 'let's build our dream together." Only it wasn't our dream, it was his dream. I thought it was our dream. I forgot I had my own dreams.
So, in order to have healthy recovery from the forgetting disease, I have taken certain steps to ensure no further relapse. I take notes! I take a lot of notes. I save all the crazy text messages, emails, and voice mails. One day they are professing undying love, the next calling me every name in the book. I keep these emails for one reason and one reason only. 'The Forgetting Disease!'
Some may say it is bad energy to keep these negative messages. I believe some of this is true. I don't read them, or re-read them, only in times of desperate need. It's like drinking a tall glass of fresh squeezed Orange juice for the common cold. I immediately feel better.As I recover from the forgetting disease, and the ex starts to come around, He sniffs around me like a dog in heat. The moment I start to get back on my feet. It's like some bizarre instinct he has, anyway, the moment I start to do well, and he starts smooth talking me. That's when I whip out my notes! emails, texts, whatever. It's an immediate cure of the forgetting disease. Damn! He's really done some terrible things!
My therapist recommends a journal, I recommend saving stuff. Whatever works for you, please do it. I don't say this to discourage any kind of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important. For you and the person you are forgiving. I'm not sure if I forgive the ex yet. Hopefully I'll get to that place one day. But in the meantime, I do not want to have the forgetting disease. Stayng disease free keeps me strong and able to achieve my own dreams, my own goals, and my own happiness.
I have it. My mother has it, my best friend has it, and I dare say 90% of women definitely have it it too! Men don't often carry the forgetting disease. They seem to be immune.
Thankfully there is a cure. I am recovering at this very moment form the forgetting disease. If you have never heard of the disease, much less a remedy for it, I am here to tell you there is one.
The forgetting disease is where all the little things your significant other has done to you is quickly forgotten. For instance, maybe you were out with your significant other, and he kept staring and staring and another women. So much so, that really you got upset. You maybe were standing there screaming, "helllllooooo' and he sill completely ignores you. Maybe it even caused a huge fight.. He insists that he wasn't staring at another women and you wonder if it's possible at all that he actually wasn't and you are crazy like he says.
But you fight and make up and then you 'forget' all about it. Until years down the road....
When you find him on the Internet, staring, or worse, at other women over and over, and then you remember about that one, or two incidents that you forgot all about. It dawns on you that the signs were all there. You just chose to 'forget.'
In the past there have been so many little things that I have chosen to forget all about. However, I realize that the forgetting disease could very well be the death of me. It's so important that I remember. If I don't remember I could quite possibly fall into the same trap that got me in this mess to begin with. Like many others, I fell for a smooth talker. When I say smooth talker, I mean smooth talker. Instead of taking care of me and making sure I had a job that I got paid well for, I fell for the, 'let's build our dream together." Only it wasn't our dream, it was his dream. I thought it was our dream. I forgot I had my own dreams.
So, in order to have healthy recovery from the forgetting disease, I have taken certain steps to ensure no further relapse. I take notes! I take a lot of notes. I save all the crazy text messages, emails, and voice mails. One day they are professing undying love, the next calling me every name in the book. I keep these emails for one reason and one reason only. 'The Forgetting Disease!'
Some may say it is bad energy to keep these negative messages. I believe some of this is true. I don't read them, or re-read them, only in times of desperate need. It's like drinking a tall glass of fresh squeezed Orange juice for the common cold. I immediately feel better.As I recover from the forgetting disease, and the ex starts to come around, He sniffs around me like a dog in heat. The moment I start to get back on my feet. It's like some bizarre instinct he has, anyway, the moment I start to do well, and he starts smooth talking me. That's when I whip out my notes! emails, texts, whatever. It's an immediate cure of the forgetting disease. Damn! He's really done some terrible things!
My therapist recommends a journal, I recommend saving stuff. Whatever works for you, please do it. I don't say this to discourage any kind of forgiveness. Forgiveness is important. For you and the person you are forgiving. I'm not sure if I forgive the ex yet. Hopefully I'll get to that place one day. But in the meantime, I do not want to have the forgetting disease. Stayng disease free keeps me strong and able to achieve my own dreams, my own goals, and my own happiness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)