MATCH.COM - INTERNET DATING???

  I have come to the conclusion I am NOT an internet dater!  I can tell you that it has been worth the $40.00 I paid for one month, just to read the emails, and see pics that are sent my way!  It's endless hours of comic material!

  I jumped on this morning just to check out if I have any new emails.  Here's what one guy instant messaged me at 800am:

Hmmmmidididididseeaputtycat

  Yes, it took me a moment too!  Did he really just write that?  Wait!  How old is this guy?  Oh...He's 49 years old!  Mmmm. No thanks!

  There's more.  I got a 'Happy Hump Day' email.  Yes, some 38 year old guy sent me an email wishing me a 'Happy Hump Day!'

   It gets better!  I've gotten every kind of email from long. life stories, to 'hey you wanna meet'.  Here's the thing;  I can't date anyone that calls himself  'majicstick' or 'cuddly' anything.  Im looking for a date, not a stuffed animal!

  I also cannot date anyone who has that mullet haircut!  I'm sorry fellows, but really????  If your bald, be bald!  DO NOT have a bald head, or partially bald head, and then a long stringy pony tail, or rat tail, whatever you call it, hanging down your neck!  And why does it always look like you grease up the rat tail too?  Like a greasy string stuck to you!  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!  I mean seriously!  

I also cannot date a man that makes $35,000 and is 49 years old.  If your not making more then $35,000 at 49 then you probably cannot afford me.  Call me a gold digger!  Hahaha, which is really funny!  Yeah, I'm a gold digger because I prefer to live somewhere other then a double wide trailer!

  Lastly, I posted on my profile that I prefer black men.  It's not mandatory, just a preference.  Some people prefer dark hair, dark eyes, some prefer blonde, some prefer big, some prefer skinny.  It's all just a preference.  So, I did state my preference.  Why do I keep getting pictures of men that look like they just stepped off a John Deere Tractor??? AND they live in the boondocks!  Like Riverside or something!  Really??

  Did I mention I like smart guys?  I cannot date someone who cannot spell!  Spelling is a must!  Even if you don't know how to spell there is this thing, called 'spellcheck'. ugh!  Am I being too harsh?

  My profile has been viewed 1913 times.  I have 93 emails and 167 winks.  My first week on Match.com I was so impressed at 48 emails.  uhmmm, I've never really been good at math.  I think percentage wise, I'm not doing so well.  I've seen 3 men that are slightly interesting.  3!  Only 3!  And those 3, we have gone back and forth a couple of times through emails.  One lives in the valley.  Geographically undesirable!  One lives near me, but seems a little shy and not so anxious to post his pic.  That's fine.  We will see.  The other is super hot looking (I'm trying not to be into looks) white guy, lives in L.A.  Another not so geographically fit!  And a third, who was actually the front runner, lives quite far, more then an hour away, but looks healthy, wealthy and wise!

  I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails, or follow me on this site, or leave your comments, or post a reply!

MATCH.COM - ANSWERING EMAILS!

I'm about 2 weeks in, to Match.com.  I see why this is a billion dollar company!  The first week I posted my profile but did not join.  I just casually browsed.  You can do this for free.  Other members that have joined, can send you emails.  The trick is you can't read those emails until you join!  That's how they get you.  You can't even see pics of those that sent you emails unless you join.  The whole thing is a complete tease!  Very ironic!

So after I set up my profile I see that I have a bunch of emails.  They have reeled me in!  I join Match.com and now I am fully committed!  My friends, by the way, are all laughing at me!  They cannot believe 'I wasted' $40.00.  Apparently they feel that this dating service is for those that can't get a date!  I don't feel like this.  I think many busy professionals are just busy.  And let's face it.  If you don't go out to clubs or bars, then what's left?  The coffee shop?  I've met dates there too, and Match.com can't be any worse!

It's a little difficult for me to send an email to someone that looks interesting.  I'm so happy I'm a women!  I don't have to think of anything smart, funny, or original enough to send to a person.  I just post my picture and Bam!  Answering emails is intimidating as well,  if I'm going to be perfectly honest.  Because eventually I know they are going to want to meet!   Uh yea...That's the idea right?  Yea.  I'm not so good at that part!  It's totally putting yourself out there.  Like having blind dates on a regular basis!  

We all have that fear right?  Like, what if this person doesn't like me?  What if he thought I looked different in the picture?  What if he's terrible and I don't like him? How do I turn him down in a nice way? (I don't believe in being mean)  However,  I have discovered that in some cases you have to mean.  Some men just don't get it!

I'm going to start locally.  Probably meet at my favorite coffee shop.  Yes it will be the same coffee shop that I met the other guy I went to lunch with.  The one that was older, very wealthy, and a complete ass!  He still comes in every morning.  I can't believe he hasn't switched coffee shops!  Anyway, that's another story.

I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails.  Or subscribe to this post.  Or repost. Or 'like' on facebook.

MATCH.COM- ANSWERING EMAILS

2nd day in and I've decided to actually answer some of these 48 emails.  Not the ones that are ridiculous!  There are many of those!  Can you believe that men actually start with 'Hey Baby.'  Really?  I also cannot believe how many men actually send an email that starts with, "you know you want to meet me?"  Really?  uh..no, not really!  Seriously, I'd say at least five men sent an email that started with, "you know you want to meet me?"  Here's my favorite: 


How are you today love. I like your profile and pictures are up my alley. Check me out and see if you dig me as much as most people do ;). We could meet up for a quick beer at maybe Cook's Corner and see whats up. Nothing formal. So don't fight it, you know you want to meet me. Don't be escared, i'm not. I've dated beautiful women all around the world LOL


I'm not sure if this is a joke!  Did he really just say that?  Cook's corner?  For those of you that don't know Cook's corner is this completely dive breakfast/lunch place that looks like it is serious need of renovation!  I've never been inside and have no idea if the food is good, because.....I'm too scared!  Honestly, it looks like it's been around since the 1800's, needs a fresh coat of pain or something.  Keep in mind I live in Newport Beach California.  Denny's look nicer then this place!  Not an ideal first impression to say the least!  Maybe all those 'beautiful women' from around the world should have clued him in!




My favorite email came from a 39 year old guy.  Probably not my type, but could not have asked for a better email.  Take note men:


Wow! Whats the secret? I would guess that you are 29 years old…keep up the great work! You look fantastic:)


I know the 29 years thing is a bit of a stretch,  but it sounds good right?  Sweet and simple.  No 'hey baby' involved no, 'Google me because I'm the best your gonna get'.  (I got that too!)  None of that!  


Anyway.  I still have emails to go through, so I will keep everyone posted!  Please comment, subscribe, or follow me on twitter @kurucocktails

MATCH.COM FIRST TIME IN!

I finally joined Match.com after posting my profile last week.  I had 48 emails and 7 winks!  That's pretty good right!  I have to admit it was pretty fun to read all the emails and check out what men had to say.  WOW!  Men are sooo funny!  It must be really difficult to be a man.  Seriously.  All I had to do was post a picture.  Men on the other hand,  see the picture and  they have to come up with an opening line.  Something to break the ice, sound original, be funny if possible, and tell me a little about themselves, and do all this in a short and sweet manner-before I get bored!
  You would not believe what men will write!  I've really gotten everything from 'hey baby!'.....(did he really open with that?)  to 'Have you ever been with a younger man?'  to really sweet, funny, articulate messages!  I was quite surprised and very entertained!
Out of 48 emails I will return a couple of them.  'rockhardabs' will not be one of those!  There were actually a couple of guys that sounded kind of interesting.  It did help that they have an airplane (or so they say)  I do have a thing for airplanes!  Before you ask, yes I will only be dating those that have a positive cash flow.  Call me a gold digger, call me whatever you want.  I've dated broke men, I don't plan on doing that ever again.  If your wondering why I am so adamant go ahead and read my previous blogs and you will quickly understand.
Oh yes, and I am so surprised how many men comment that 'I'm sexy'.  How do they know that?  If your a guy and your reading this I'd sure like to know.  I just submitted one picture.  It's not a bikini pic or  risque or half-dressed, or anything like that.  Just a regular picture.  Yet, at least half the men that responded to me had the word 'sexy' in their response.  I find that interesting.
I don't know when the next time I will log on will be, but I will definitely keep you posted!

Match.com-The Profile!

So, as previously stated I have decided to join Match.com.  It should be a very interesting journey.  I encourage those who are considering the same, to follow me and see how it goes!  This will be an honest, open, and often humorous blog!  Some may not appreciate my sense of humor!  I can already see that coming!  I cannot write about this without calling it as I see it,  so here goes:

I have had many discussions with friends about this before I actually did it.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE I have spoken to has said this is  a 'must do'!  I heard everything from, "I met my husband on Match.com" to, "only losers go to the internet for dating".  Seriously, I am NOT an internet dater! I have never one this nor considered doing anything like this.  First and foremost, I don't believe what people write.  I am suspicious by nature.  Thus my dilemma.  I'm suspicious anyway, and prefer to wait and see what a man does, rather then what he says.

You can 'browse for free'.  I got on Match and decided to 'browse.'  That act alone is worth a couple of hours of laughter!  I mean seriously...if you set up a profile name of 'softkisser' or 'bestkisser' or 'bizzle' or 'boytoy' or 'ImaKING', I really can't read much further.
I especially love the photos of men that look like prison photos.  You know the kind with the pastel paint in the background and he's wearing a plain white tee.  Don't ask me how I know this...I just do.  Or even better, when they REALLY look like they are or have been recently been released from a crazy institution.  What are these guys thinking?  All bug eyed trying to catch a women.  It's really quite funny.  If you want some good free entertainment, just go 'browse' for a minute!
To set the record straight, the above comments are not to say that I look better then anyone else.  Or to make fun of those not so attractive.  I truly believe there is someone for everyone so that is not what I'm talking about.  I'm really talking about people that post their pictures and really do LOOK crazy!
So I browsed through the photos.  Out of about 100 pics I found one guy that I thought looked & sounded interesting.  I don't date men based on looks.  Been there, done that.  Fine men are often the dumbest!
Match.com asks a lot of questions.. Mostly stupid ones.  Like, what kind of animals do you like-and then they list, dog, cat, bird, fish...I mean who really cares if I will like your pet fish???
Most of the answers are standard, 'I like long walks on the beach'...occasionally a guy will be pretty funny.  This means nothing.  Just because they can write funny, doesn't mean they are!
I took the time to fill out my profile and then posted it!  YIKES!  That was last week.  I did not join match.com.  I'm the kind of person that really likes to weigh the pro's and cons before I actually partake.  So I posted my profile and a week later I see that I have 41 emails!  41!  That's good right?  I mean if you look at the odds, I haven't had 41 guys ask me out this week!  So before I even read the emails, which I can't do unless I join-that's how they get you.  I wanted to post my original perception of the browsing thing.  Honestly, I am interested in seeing who and what kind of men have emailed me.  So please subscribe or follow me on twitter or just keep reading to see what happens!

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?

WARNING:  DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS.  ADULT CONTENT.

I can't believe I'm writing about this, but I feel I must.  It's personal, but must be shared.  So here goes:

O.k. So Im dating in Orange County which is a whole experience in itself.  There seems to be only three or four categories of men in the O.C:

1.  They drive a Bentley and have tons of money so they think they can treat you any kind of way.  They know there are many women who will tolerate this behavior. It's called selling your soul.
2.  They have no money and  want you to take care of them.  They are looking for a mommy.
3.  They are trying to pretend to be somebody they are not.  or..They are an actor.


At least this is what I have come across.  So, with a smile on my face I go out into the world and everyday am shocked an amazed to see what is out there.  Recently I met a guy who has captured my interest beyond just the first date.  That in itself is quite rare.  Now, of course he has his issues, and of course I have mine.  But he is smart and funny and keeps me on my toes.  I never liked the easy, dumb guys.
So I'm out with this guy and somehow the question comes up, "when was the last time you had sex?"
and like an idiot...I answer.  And, like an even bigger idiot I answer honestly.
uhhh....2 years.  O.K. don't everyone go into cardiac arrest o.k.  Especially those that know me.  It wasn't planned that way, it just happened.  I didn't say I lost my sexual desire.  I just said it hasn't worked out for me.  You see I have done the one night stands.  Too many times.  I'm over it.  Yes, I could go out tonight if I wanted, meet a guy, and have sex.  Matter of fact, I'm quite sure I could go out this morning, walk to the coffee shop and bring a guy home if I wanted.  Men are easy.  Sorry fella's. You just are.  In fact, I could weigh 300 pounds and probably still get a guy to sleep with me.  Some men like big women.  I see it everyday, and I bet you do to.  I big girl walking down the street holding the hand of a man.  There is someone for everyone.  I just happen to be a little more particular.

I have girlfriends who love the easy, young,  hot guys who have washboard abs and worship the ground they walk on.  Lets face it.  We are not 20 anymore.  With age comes a certain beauty in women.  We know are bodies.  We are not shy or awkward or unsure of ourselves.  This is attractive to men.  They can feel confidence.
So here I am, super confident, attractive, and so not willing to jump into bed with the first guy I meet.  or the second, or the third.  First and foremost, I have learned that I am a cerebral women.  You must excite my mind.  Without that, there is nothing.  That narrows down the first 75% of men in Orange County.  I'm not sure but it might be higher then that.  Second,  Yes I know I have a great body.  If you comment on that, other then giving me a compliment, and No "nice rack" is not a compliment, then I am just not interested.  You automatically get cut.  Third, it takes more then a pretty face, a nice body, or a Bentley.  I'm a little harder to please.  So you see my dilemma.  I've just cut off 90% of the men in Orange County.  The ten percent left seem to be hiding under a bush.  They might be dressed as a frog.  It's difficult to tell. So yes.  It's been two years since I've had sex.  It might be another two.  It's a choice I make willingly.  I'd rather not settle.
Please all you crazy men, don't message me telling me how you can change my mind, or I just need to give you a shot.  Really?  I've heard that before.  How about you just be you, and I'll decide if your worthy.

SUBSTANCE

The dictionary defines substance as "the actual matter of a thing, as opposed to the appearance or shadow; reality."  
If you go by that definition, the actual matter of dating men in Orange County is completely lacking substance.  Hence my dilemma.  You see I have chosen the word 'substance' as  sort of my theme word.  My mantra, you could say.
When I go out and meet someone, which pretty much happens daily. I look at them and I say to myself, "does this person has substance?"
Substance is a thing that takes awhile to find out if someone has.  You can't just look at the outside appearance and see if they have it or not.  That's the problem with dating in the O.C.  That's the part that people miss when they are sitting in their little towns in Oklahoma watching the O.C. housewife's and wishing they could live like those women live.  They just don't see that the substance is missing.

So how do you choose?  Yes, he drives a Bentley, but does he have substance?.  For some women this is any easy choice.  A no-brainer.  For me, not so much.  Someone recently asked me what I was looking for.  I am more sure of what I'm NOT looking for, then what I am.  I would like a man that comes with substance.  If he has a Bentley, that's nice too-but not a requirement.  I'd like a man that can recognize that I am worth waiting for.  Just because you don't have sex with me on the first date, doesn't mean I'm not worth the wait.  You might even have to wait awhile.  I'm still worth it.

I find that holding out and waiting for men that have substance brings some heartache.  It would be so much easier to judge men on the kind of car they drive or what they have in their bank account.  He with the most wins.  It's just not that easy for me.  I'd like a little more then that, please.  I'd actually like a nice guy.  Someone who appreciates me and recognizes me for the women I am.  Seems simple really.  But soooo difficult in the beautiful place I live, called Orange County

MOVING FORWARD

  Its been a long time since I posted. I get so busy caught up in the day to day of what is called life.  I'm in a place now where I feel so much better off then when I was married.  I thought I was soo in love.  I was so in love.  Really, I loved my husband more than anything.  And now I feel nothing.  Nothing. Not mad, or sad, broken, depressed, 'wish things were different'.  just nothing.  It's sooo weird. 
I vividley remember laying in bed with him, thinking 'I'm so in love with you after seven years of marriage, how does that happen?'  and now.  I'm so over you, I'm not even mad at you for the terrible things you did, how does that happen?  I just feel nothing towards him.  Happy he gave me a beautiful daughter who is the shining light in my life.  And that's it.  Grateful.  Wow!

On a personal level.  I've really pulled myself from the depths of despair.  Its been two years since the ex walked out taking everything with him.  every dime, the business etc.  He literally left me and my daughter homeless, stating 'I'm not paying shit anymore'  no rent, no gas, no nothing.  I had to move and move quick.  Figure out a way to survive.  And survive I have!  :).  I moved my little part time bar tending business to a business that was like working full time.  I husseled  all my jobs so that I could make enough money to live off. I have since turned that business into an 'events production business.  I'm super organized and pay attention to detail, and I love Martha Steward and all the theme matched magazines with cute little flower straws made out of baking cups, and paper lanterns and hulu hoop gardens, and all that stuff.  I'm really good at it.  There is nothing more satisfying to me then throwing a fab party and guests totally enjoying themselves and having no clue how much work or money went into the party,.

This month has been the first month since Nov 09,  one year 11 months, since I have actually been able to pay all my bills, AND pay my car registration, AND get new tires on my car AND take a vacation.  1 year 11 months!  yipee!!!  It is a lot to accomplish in less then two years.  Going from homeless to actually being able to purchase extras.  Wow!  I feel really good about myself.  If I can do it, anybody can do it!

KIM KARDASHIAN

This is just a random post.  But really, I am so irritated I feel I must write.  People give Kim Kardashian so much grief!  So what if she spent millions on her own wedding!  IT'S HER WEDDING!  Not only that, has anyone noticed that SHE WORKED FOR IT!  I'm so tired of all the media saying 'what does she do?' 'She's famous for nothing" blah blah blah.  Really?  Here's a news flash:  SHE IS A BUSINESSWOMAN.  Not only that, she is an extrememly smart businesswoman.  Ask yourself, NBC, ABC, E NEWS, how many people do actually know that can brand themselves, themselves alone, and turn it into a multi-million dollars business?
Yes, she is a pretty girl.  But I live in L.A. and there are lots of very beautiful woman.  She is not the only one.  Yet, Kim Karrdashian made 10 million dollars last year.  10 MILLION DOLLARS!  And do you know why?  Because she's smart!  And her mom is too!  And maybe her mom made all the deals for her, I don't know because I don't know either one of them personnally, but I do know one thing.  Kim gets up every morning and brand's herself everyday.  No going to the grocery store, or even stepping outside looking raggedy.  She has to look good even if she is working out!  This takes work! Through hard-work, and hard-work only did she earn what she has.  And not 'just by being beautiful'.
Mommy may have made all the deals, but Kim shows up and works!  I say GOD BLESS HER!  Good work!  and YOU GO GIRL!
 If I made 10 million dollars, I'd have the wedding of my dreams as well, complete with flying elephants.  I wouldn't care what anyone said about it.  And if I can got the champagne donated and someone else to pay for -just because they like the way I look-then more power to me!  So all you haters, stop hating!.  Be happy for a young girl who dreamed of her wedding day for a long time and finally realized her dream!  I am happy for them both.

LETTER TO MY EX

Did you think I would just lay down and die without you?  You did, didn't you?  You thought if you walked out, I would either lay down and die, or beg you to come back.  No matter how you treated me, no matter what you did.  I would be so desperate as to allow you to do anything to me, and I would still want to just stand next to you.  You think you are so special that you could treat me any kind of way and i would stay.  Or die if you went?
  Obviously you never knew me.  Obviously you never recognized me for the women that I am.  It's been almost two years now.  Not only did I not lay down and die, but I came out way stronger and way better then ever before!  I guess I can say, 'Thank you' for that!
  I have been so blessed, and so grateful for everything I have.  It was not an easy road.  Before, with you, I was so busy trying to help you succeed, that I forgot to take time out to enjoy my life.  Appreciate what God gave me.  Spend time with my child in a loving and caring space, Not just time with my child.  Time to laugh, and marvel at the moon (like we did last night), and really spend time.
  Funny how God works.  There was a time when I thought I would lay down and die.  There were many days when I did not want to get out of bed.  I only did because I had to.  I had to take care of our daughter, because if I didn't, nobody would.  I didn't want to, but I did anyway.  There were many days when I thought I wouldn't get through the day.  Now I just smile, when I look back on all that.  Not only did I make it through, but look at all I have!
  I am so blessed.  And while you are claiming to be a 'king', and appointed by God, I sadly smile at the way you are still trapped in your own ego.  The way you thought and said I would be nothing without you. The same way you profess to be a king.  I guess you don't know that we are supposed to be 'humble' servants of God.  And if a king cannot take care of his wife and child, he certainly cannot atke care of his people..

So there is no bitterness, nor am I mad.  I actually have to thatnk you for my beautiful daughter who is such a gift from God it brings tears to my eyes every time I look at her.  She is so beautiful and smart and funny.  I could go on and on.  But without you I would not have her, so I guess I can be cordial to you just for that.  Without you, I would not be in the place I am in today.  I would still be washing your drawers, cooking your meals, cleaning your house, and running a business that you and you alone profitted from.  Instead, I am happy joyous and free.  Every day is a blessing.  Every moment I cherish.  I love myself, my neighbors and the new experiences each day brings.  Everything is better!
  Lastly, Your daughter and I took a vacation this summer.  Something you and I never did in the seven years we were together.  Not even for the weekend!  You never took me anywhere, much less me and your family.  Well this year I went.  I didn't know how I was going to afford it, but somehow God took care of that too.  We drove across country and saw 'other lands' and had the best time.  So sad for you that you are still trapped in your own self.  But again, I thank you for it.
I did not lay down and die.  Nor will I ever.  Not for you, or any man.  I'm sorry that you did not recognize me for who I am.  I'm stronger and better then ever.  Your daughter and I both.  I am teaching her to be a strong, self sufficient, hard working women.  My heart breaks for her, when she asks for you.  But it does not break for you.
Thank you for everything you have given me.  And for the things you did not.  It made me who I am today, and I am so grateful for that.
God Bless

AM I SPEAKING ENGLISH?

Am I speaking English?  Do women speak English and men speak some secret language that we don't know about or are not privy to?  I can say, "The dog is chasing the cat." and somehow what the ex hears is, "That pussy likes to get chased around a tree."  I mean, not even close to what I said.  

My question is, "Is it my ex, or just men in general that they don't hear what we as women are saying."  Honestly, I think they speak a different language or something in their brain doesn't compute the way women's brains compute.  It's so odd. 

So the ex sends me a nasty text calling me foul names, liar, b., etc. etc.  Apparently someone has told him about http://thegreygrildiaries.blogspot.com. I'm very surprised by this since I've been writing for about a year now, and he's just now hearing about it?  Not like I'm trying to hide it or anything.  I mean, it is posted on the internet.  So I tell him too bad if you don't like it.  It's how I feel, it's about as real as it gets, and by the way, did you actually read it?

He tells me that he only got to the part where I tell about how he emptied the bank accounts, and that's a total lie, and blah blah blah.  Uh... well, if you deposit 3800.03 into the account, and you withdraw 3800.03 from the account, that is pretty much draining the accounts.  If you do this more then once, that that means you have drained the bank accounts and left me and baby girl for dead.  Right?  I mean, 1+1=2.  Somehow he just doesn't get this.  I guess the $400.00 dollars he gave me makes him think that he is 'looking out for me."  By the way, the 3800.03 is the from the business we own together, that I started, just in case you haven't read this blog before.

Anyway, I'm just so confused because everything is such polar opposites.  I see black, he sees white.  Is it because we are black & white?  Is it because his brain speaks another language?  What the heck?  

I would love to hear other peoples feedback and wonder if men in their lives speak a different language, or vice versa, women v. men.

In the meantime, I am still focused on taking care of me and my baby girl.  No matter what a man says, what I have learned for sure, is no one takes care of you, but you.  That's not to say, you cannot have a beautiful relationship with a member of the opposite sex.  It just means, have a secret stash!  Make sure you have a backup plan where you personally are taken care of.  Wow!  Took me a lot of years to learn that.  Wish I would have met up with with Oprah Winfrey, Suzie Orman, Cynthia Bailey, or other women that learned this lesson at a young age.  I will be teaching my daughter, starting now. :)

The Grey Girl Diaries: AM I SPEAKING ENGLISH?

The Grey Girl Diaries: AM I SPEAKING ENGLISH?: "Am I speaking English? Do women speak English and men speak some secret language that we don't know about or are not privy to? I..."

Doing me

Much has happened since the last time i blogged. The ex has come crying back professing his undying love. Yea right. A year in therapy, practically homeless if not for the grace of God, having to start over, and all the other b.s. i've gone through has taught me something.
First & foremost. Actions speak louder then words. Duh....Im sad to say that i have fell for that song and dance a few times before. Some men know all the right things to say. Others know all the right things to do. Ill be paying attention to the 'do gooders' from here on out.
On a personal note. Im better. I no longer have days that i feel like im breaking down. I do have sad days where im sad for the husband that i truly loved is gone. Its terrible. But that man i fell in love with is no longer that man. Whoever, whatever, he turned into, is not what i want. This year has been a year of tremendous
Growth & spiritual growth. One thing for sure is without God i am nothing. I have made it through the worst of the worst. I feel like being homeless because husband walked out & emptied bank accounts & left me & daughter on our own is about as bad as it gets. From here there is no where to go but up.
With that said i am moving forward. Some days are easier then others. Most days are really good.
Financially still no court date, or lawyer to help, & i still struggle. But i know its not forever, & God is going to take care of me. I know this because i pray every day & every night & most of the day throughout the day.
So for some people a year seems like a long time. For me it does. I'm hopeful that one day i will look back on this all & laugh. In the meantime i will keep praying. I hope u do too!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5