Match.Com - I QUIT!!!

  I gave it a whirl!  O.K. I did it!  Sort of.  I actually NEVER met someone I met on Match.com.  I just can't seem to get past the ridiculous emails.  Men email me and say the wierdest things.  I just don't understand.  If I'm not going to understand then I'd rather not understand in real life, not cyberspace.  I mean why get dressed, take time out, call a babysitter, and go to all that trouble to meet a guy that probably most likely doesn't look like his picture!  A whole other person shows up!
  I rather BE dressed, BE out, and run into a guy I probably would never date, then actually set up to meet a guy I probably would never date.  Does that make sense?
  To me it does.  I'm not going out on any blind date from a guy I met on Match.  I know it works for some people.  I'm just not the one!  Maybe I watch too many episodes of forensic files.  But seriously, isn't it easier to meet a guy in person then look at a 1/2in by 1/2 inch picture of someone and determine whether he's a nice guy or a serial killer?  Call me crazy, but I think I can judge a person better as a person and not as a small blurb on a dating site.
  For example.  There was this one guy on the site.  He is physically not my type.  Remember I was trying to expand my horizons and not go for looks.  This is what the guy said,


I like what you wrote in your profile. Questions- When was your last serious relationship and what happened? What exactly are you looking for? I am in hawaii for holidays. Looking for a good, honest and loyal woman is challenging in California. Xoxo 


That's me right?! O.K. so I should have actually examined this email.  Looking back I realize that the xoxo ending is kind of immature.  xoxo hugs and kisses??? really??? mmmm.  I dont think so!  Your a stranger!  Also he has a really dorky name.  Also his profile brags all about himself.  But I once again ignored all the warning signs!  I sent him an email back and answered his question "when was your last serious relationship".  I kept my answer short and to the point.  This is how long, this is what happened.  I then said something along the lines of, "It's the Holiday season, so I'm super busy with work right now, and Ill email you when I get a chance."
To which he responded, "You snotty b****!"  hahahaha!  Can you believe that?  He called me a snotty B* because I didn't immediately respond to his email.  He then SENT ME ANOTHER EMAIL, and told me how rude he thought I was because I didn't respond to him, and how he works with executives all the time and I'm not special!  WOW!  
Truthfully, he was  not the only crazy stalker type I came across!  There were other men that were upset I didn't respond right away.  Maybe people on Match.com have a lot of time on their hands.  I thought that was the whole point.  For people that didn't have time on their hands, and didn't like bars so they moved to internet dating?
Anyway.  What I found out was if I just get dressed in the morning, do my hair, try to look cute, and smile everyday, men will approach me!  I just have to put myself out there.  I believe that even if I wasn't cute but put effort in dressing nice, putting on a little make-up, fixing my hair, men would approach me!  Men approach women who look approachable!  So, enough about the internet dating thing.  I must end this by saying, ladies, (or men)  If you are looking to find your match, I suggest you put effort into looking nice, and put a smile on your face, and don't be AFRAID to put yourself out there.  And yes, you will get approached by some weirdo's.  But, you know what they say, "you got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince!"

MATCH.COM - ANSWERING EMAILS!

I'm about 2 weeks in, to Match.com.  I see why this is a billion dollar company!  The first week I posted my profile but did not join.  I just casually browsed.  You can do this for free.  Other members that have joined, can send you emails.  The trick is you can't read those emails until you join!  That's how they get you.  You can't even see pics of those that sent you emails unless you join.  The whole thing is a complete tease!  Very ironic!

So after I set up my profile I see that I have a bunch of emails.  They have reeled me in!  I join Match.com and now I am fully committed!  My friends, by the way, are all laughing at me!  They cannot believe 'I wasted' $40.00.  Apparently they feel that this dating service is for those that can't get a date!  I don't feel like this.  I think many busy professionals are just busy.  And let's face it.  If you don't go out to clubs or bars, then what's left?  The coffee shop?  I've met dates there too, and Match.com can't be any worse!

It's a little difficult for me to send an email to someone that looks interesting.  I'm so happy I'm a women!  I don't have to think of anything smart, funny, or original enough to send to a person.  I just post my picture and Bam!  Answering emails is intimidating as well,  if I'm going to be perfectly honest.  Because eventually I know they are going to want to meet!   Uh yea...That's the idea right?  Yea.  I'm not so good at that part!  It's totally putting yourself out there.  Like having blind dates on a regular basis!  

We all have that fear right?  Like, what if this person doesn't like me?  What if he thought I looked different in the picture?  What if he's terrible and I don't like him? How do I turn him down in a nice way? (I don't believe in being mean)  However,  I have discovered that in some cases you have to mean.  Some men just don't get it!

I'm going to start locally.  Probably meet at my favorite coffee shop.  Yes it will be the same coffee shop that I met the other guy I went to lunch with.  The one that was older, very wealthy, and a complete ass!  He still comes in every morning.  I can't believe he hasn't switched coffee shops!  Anyway, that's another story.

I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails.  Or subscribe to this post.  Or repost. Or 'like' on facebook.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX?

WARNING:  DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN READ THIS.  ADULT CONTENT.

I can't believe I'm writing about this, but I feel I must.  It's personal, but must be shared.  So here goes:

O.k. So Im dating in Orange County which is a whole experience in itself.  There seems to be only three or four categories of men in the O.C:

1.  They drive a Bentley and have tons of money so they think they can treat you any kind of way.  They know there are many women who will tolerate this behavior. It's called selling your soul.
2.  They have no money and  want you to take care of them.  They are looking for a mommy.
3.  They are trying to pretend to be somebody they are not.  or..They are an actor.


At least this is what I have come across.  So, with a smile on my face I go out into the world and everyday am shocked an amazed to see what is out there.  Recently I met a guy who has captured my interest beyond just the first date.  That in itself is quite rare.  Now, of course he has his issues, and of course I have mine.  But he is smart and funny and keeps me on my toes.  I never liked the easy, dumb guys.
So I'm out with this guy and somehow the question comes up, "when was the last time you had sex?"
and like an idiot...I answer.  And, like an even bigger idiot I answer honestly.
uhhh....2 years.  O.K. don't everyone go into cardiac arrest o.k.  Especially those that know me.  It wasn't planned that way, it just happened.  I didn't say I lost my sexual desire.  I just said it hasn't worked out for me.  You see I have done the one night stands.  Too many times.  I'm over it.  Yes, I could go out tonight if I wanted, meet a guy, and have sex.  Matter of fact, I'm quite sure I could go out this morning, walk to the coffee shop and bring a guy home if I wanted.  Men are easy.  Sorry fella's. You just are.  In fact, I could weigh 300 pounds and probably still get a guy to sleep with me.  Some men like big women.  I see it everyday, and I bet you do to.  I big girl walking down the street holding the hand of a man.  There is someone for everyone.  I just happen to be a little more particular.

I have girlfriends who love the easy, young,  hot guys who have washboard abs and worship the ground they walk on.  Lets face it.  We are not 20 anymore.  With age comes a certain beauty in women.  We know are bodies.  We are not shy or awkward or unsure of ourselves.  This is attractive to men.  They can feel confidence.
So here I am, super confident, attractive, and so not willing to jump into bed with the first guy I meet.  or the second, or the third.  First and foremost, I have learned that I am a cerebral women.  You must excite my mind.  Without that, there is nothing.  That narrows down the first 75% of men in Orange County.  I'm not sure but it might be higher then that.  Second,  Yes I know I have a great body.  If you comment on that, other then giving me a compliment, and No "nice rack" is not a compliment, then I am just not interested.  You automatically get cut.  Third, it takes more then a pretty face, a nice body, or a Bentley.  I'm a little harder to please.  So you see my dilemma.  I've just cut off 90% of the men in Orange County.  The ten percent left seem to be hiding under a bush.  They might be dressed as a frog.  It's difficult to tell. So yes.  It's been two years since I've had sex.  It might be another two.  It's a choice I make willingly.  I'd rather not settle.
Please all you crazy men, don't message me telling me how you can change my mind, or I just need to give you a shot.  Really?  I've heard that before.  How about you just be you, and I'll decide if your worthy.

SUBSTANCE

The dictionary defines substance as "the actual matter of a thing, as opposed to the appearance or shadow; reality."  
If you go by that definition, the actual matter of dating men in Orange County is completely lacking substance.  Hence my dilemma.  You see I have chosen the word 'substance' as  sort of my theme word.  My mantra, you could say.
When I go out and meet someone, which pretty much happens daily. I look at them and I say to myself, "does this person has substance?"
Substance is a thing that takes awhile to find out if someone has.  You can't just look at the outside appearance and see if they have it or not.  That's the problem with dating in the O.C.  That's the part that people miss when they are sitting in their little towns in Oklahoma watching the O.C. housewife's and wishing they could live like those women live.  They just don't see that the substance is missing.

So how do you choose?  Yes, he drives a Bentley, but does he have substance?.  For some women this is any easy choice.  A no-brainer.  For me, not so much.  Someone recently asked me what I was looking for.  I am more sure of what I'm NOT looking for, then what I am.  I would like a man that comes with substance.  If he has a Bentley, that's nice too-but not a requirement.  I'd like a man that can recognize that I am worth waiting for.  Just because you don't have sex with me on the first date, doesn't mean I'm not worth the wait.  You might even have to wait awhile.  I'm still worth it.

I find that holding out and waiting for men that have substance brings some heartache.  It would be so much easier to judge men on the kind of car they drive or what they have in their bank account.  He with the most wins.  It's just not that easy for me.  I'd like a little more then that, please.  I'd actually like a nice guy.  Someone who appreciates me and recognizes me for the women I am.  Seems simple really.  But soooo difficult in the beautiful place I live, called Orange County