LAUGHTER IS EVERYTHING

  Yesterday morning started out as a beautiful Saturday morning.  My young princess woke up lazy as she usually does.  Stretching and yawning for about 20 minutes, before she actually gets out of bed.  This Saturday morning, we were not rushed.  I love those days!  I crawled in bed with her, and we 'took time for snuggles'.  This is very important, as during the week we are almost always rushing out the door.

So I cooked a delicious saturday morning breakfast, and she watched her morning cartoons, playing with her dolls, as I cleaned the house.  I had her in my room in the back, because this Saturday I was working on her room.  All of a sudden I hear this loud bang on my door.  I peer out the window to see who it is, but I cant see from where I'm at.  I go downstairs and ask, "who is it?'

To which my ex-husband (baby daddy) replies it is him.  Now this is a guy that hasn't shown up in my daughter's life in over a year!  A year!  Then he just randomely shows up at my door?  I freaked out!  He has sent one or two emails to myself, and my father spewing about what  a good father he is, and he wants to see his child.  In my book, one email every 8 months does not make for a good father.  In fact it makes for nothing.  Doesn't even deserve a reply.  It isn't even contingent on the fact that he hasn't payed any child support.  The reality is, he missed his daughter's last birthday, and Christmas, didn't even call, nothing.  He lives 30 minutes away, so there is just no excuse.  His last email 3 months ago was about how he is such a good father and how I have changed my phone number several times, and blah blah blah.  All total lies, so I didnt even respond.

Then he shows up at my door! I freaked out!  Shows how unstable he really is.  He can't just show up!  This is where God comes in!  GOD IS SO GOOD!  The ex could have parked in guest parking, two spaces over.  But instead of doing that, he parks in my parking stall, backed in, facing my door!  Total intimidation tactic.  He starts banging on the door, yelling for his daughter.  Another bullying tactic.  What?  He thinks I'm just going to open the door?  No!  I call the police. Police come out.  They tell him he has to work it out in court.  Right!  Just like I have to work out in court the fact that there is a child support order but he is STILL not paying!  I agree with the cops, let him go to court, just like I have to.  In the meantime, he cant show up after a year, and expect me to send my 6 year old out the door.

The cops are about to send him away.  But first they run his name.  UH OH!  Turns out he has two warrants!  Oh yea, and that raggedy car you parked in my spot, tags have been expired for a year!  Guess that goes too!  Tow truck showed up right behind the patty wagon!

Thank You Lord, for your wonderful sense of humor!

AGENT OR NO AGENT?

I am almost finished with my book!  It's been a learn as I go project.  I've spent a lot of time in the library, reading books like, "get an agent in 30 days" or "publishing for dummies".  In an age of social media and overnight internet sensations, the new questions to ask is, "do I need an publisher?"  or should I self publish? "Do I really need an agent?"  The internet has opened a whole new world.  It's a beautiful thing, but also quite confusing!.
I've done a lot of research.  There are pros and cons to self publishing and a publishing house.  Getting an agent seems to be a 1st on the list of things to do.  The next question is, "Do I complete my manuscript first?" or should I start querying now?  Opinions differ in this area.
I'd love to start querying now, as everything I have read seems to say that this is an art form in itself and must be done with intricate detail.  My gut tells me to finish the book first.  I think I'll finish the book first!
Off I go...more to come later.

MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE!

  I have not blogged in many months because I have decided not to let another year go by without actively pursuing my dream.  I have been very busy working on my book!  I hope to have an agent within the next six months. I would love to see my book on the shelves by 2013.  Please keep an eye out for it.  I will be writing under my real name:  SHARON BELL

Match.Com - I QUIT!!!

  I gave it a whirl!  O.K. I did it!  Sort of.  I actually NEVER met someone I met on Match.com.  I just can't seem to get past the ridiculous emails.  Men email me and say the wierdest things.  I just don't understand.  If I'm not going to understand then I'd rather not understand in real life, not cyberspace.  I mean why get dressed, take time out, call a babysitter, and go to all that trouble to meet a guy that probably most likely doesn't look like his picture!  A whole other person shows up!
  I rather BE dressed, BE out, and run into a guy I probably would never date, then actually set up to meet a guy I probably would never date.  Does that make sense?
  To me it does.  I'm not going out on any blind date from a guy I met on Match.  I know it works for some people.  I'm just not the one!  Maybe I watch too many episodes of forensic files.  But seriously, isn't it easier to meet a guy in person then look at a 1/2in by 1/2 inch picture of someone and determine whether he's a nice guy or a serial killer?  Call me crazy, but I think I can judge a person better as a person and not as a small blurb on a dating site.
  For example.  There was this one guy on the site.  He is physically not my type.  Remember I was trying to expand my horizons and not go for looks.  This is what the guy said,


I like what you wrote in your profile. Questions- When was your last serious relationship and what happened? What exactly are you looking for? I am in hawaii for holidays. Looking for a good, honest and loyal woman is challenging in California. Xoxo 


That's me right?! O.K. so I should have actually examined this email.  Looking back I realize that the xoxo ending is kind of immature.  xoxo hugs and kisses??? really??? mmmm.  I dont think so!  Your a stranger!  Also he has a really dorky name.  Also his profile brags all about himself.  But I once again ignored all the warning signs!  I sent him an email back and answered his question "when was your last serious relationship".  I kept my answer short and to the point.  This is how long, this is what happened.  I then said something along the lines of, "It's the Holiday season, so I'm super busy with work right now, and Ill email you when I get a chance."
To which he responded, "You snotty b****!"  hahahaha!  Can you believe that?  He called me a snotty B* because I didn't immediately respond to his email.  He then SENT ME ANOTHER EMAIL, and told me how rude he thought I was because I didn't respond to him, and how he works with executives all the time and I'm not special!  WOW!  
Truthfully, he was  not the only crazy stalker type I came across!  There were other men that were upset I didn't respond right away.  Maybe people on Match.com have a lot of time on their hands.  I thought that was the whole point.  For people that didn't have time on their hands, and didn't like bars so they moved to internet dating?
Anyway.  What I found out was if I just get dressed in the morning, do my hair, try to look cute, and smile everyday, men will approach me!  I just have to put myself out there.  I believe that even if I wasn't cute but put effort in dressing nice, putting on a little make-up, fixing my hair, men would approach me!  Men approach women who look approachable!  So, enough about the internet dating thing.  I must end this by saying, ladies, (or men)  If you are looking to find your match, I suggest you put effort into looking nice, and put a smile on your face, and don't be AFRAID to put yourself out there.  And yes, you will get approached by some weirdo's.  But, you know what they say, "you got to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince!"

MATCH.COM - INTERNET DATING???

  I have come to the conclusion I am NOT an internet dater!  I can tell you that it has been worth the $40.00 I paid for one month, just to read the emails, and see pics that are sent my way!  It's endless hours of comic material!

  I jumped on this morning just to check out if I have any new emails.  Here's what one guy instant messaged me at 800am:

Hmmmmidididididseeaputtycat

  Yes, it took me a moment too!  Did he really just write that?  Wait!  How old is this guy?  Oh...He's 49 years old!  Mmmm. No thanks!

  There's more.  I got a 'Happy Hump Day' email.  Yes, some 38 year old guy sent me an email wishing me a 'Happy Hump Day!'

   It gets better!  I've gotten every kind of email from long. life stories, to 'hey you wanna meet'.  Here's the thing;  I can't date anyone that calls himself  'majicstick' or 'cuddly' anything.  Im looking for a date, not a stuffed animal!

  I also cannot date anyone who has that mullet haircut!  I'm sorry fellows, but really????  If your bald, be bald!  DO NOT have a bald head, or partially bald head, and then a long stringy pony tail, or rat tail, whatever you call it, hanging down your neck!  And why does it always look like you grease up the rat tail too?  Like a greasy string stuck to you!  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about!  I mean seriously!  

I also cannot date a man that makes $35,000 and is 49 years old.  If your not making more then $35,000 at 49 then you probably cannot afford me.  Call me a gold digger!  Hahaha, which is really funny!  Yeah, I'm a gold digger because I prefer to live somewhere other then a double wide trailer!

  Lastly, I posted on my profile that I prefer black men.  It's not mandatory, just a preference.  Some people prefer dark hair, dark eyes, some prefer blonde, some prefer big, some prefer skinny.  It's all just a preference.  So, I did state my preference.  Why do I keep getting pictures of men that look like they just stepped off a John Deere Tractor??? AND they live in the boondocks!  Like Riverside or something!  Really??

  Did I mention I like smart guys?  I cannot date someone who cannot spell!  Spelling is a must!  Even if you don't know how to spell there is this thing, called 'spellcheck'. ugh!  Am I being too harsh?

  My profile has been viewed 1913 times.  I have 93 emails and 167 winks.  My first week on Match.com I was so impressed at 48 emails.  uhmmm, I've never really been good at math.  I think percentage wise, I'm not doing so well.  I've seen 3 men that are slightly interesting.  3!  Only 3!  And those 3, we have gone back and forth a couple of times through emails.  One lives in the valley.  Geographically undesirable!  One lives near me, but seems a little shy and not so anxious to post his pic.  That's fine.  We will see.  The other is super hot looking (I'm trying not to be into looks) white guy, lives in L.A.  Another not so geographically fit!  And a third, who was actually the front runner, lives quite far, more then an hour away, but looks healthy, wealthy and wise!

  I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails, or follow me on this site, or leave your comments, or post a reply!

MATCH.COM - ANSWERING EMAILS!

I'm about 2 weeks in, to Match.com.  I see why this is a billion dollar company!  The first week I posted my profile but did not join.  I just casually browsed.  You can do this for free.  Other members that have joined, can send you emails.  The trick is you can't read those emails until you join!  That's how they get you.  You can't even see pics of those that sent you emails unless you join.  The whole thing is a complete tease!  Very ironic!

So after I set up my profile I see that I have a bunch of emails.  They have reeled me in!  I join Match.com and now I am fully committed!  My friends, by the way, are all laughing at me!  They cannot believe 'I wasted' $40.00.  Apparently they feel that this dating service is for those that can't get a date!  I don't feel like this.  I think many busy professionals are just busy.  And let's face it.  If you don't go out to clubs or bars, then what's left?  The coffee shop?  I've met dates there too, and Match.com can't be any worse!

It's a little difficult for me to send an email to someone that looks interesting.  I'm so happy I'm a women!  I don't have to think of anything smart, funny, or original enough to send to a person.  I just post my picture and Bam!  Answering emails is intimidating as well,  if I'm going to be perfectly honest.  Because eventually I know they are going to want to meet!   Uh yea...That's the idea right?  Yea.  I'm not so good at that part!  It's totally putting yourself out there.  Like having blind dates on a regular basis!  

We all have that fear right?  Like, what if this person doesn't like me?  What if he thought I looked different in the picture?  What if he's terrible and I don't like him? How do I turn him down in a nice way? (I don't believe in being mean)  However,  I have discovered that in some cases you have to mean.  Some men just don't get it!

I'm going to start locally.  Probably meet at my favorite coffee shop.  Yes it will be the same coffee shop that I met the other guy I went to lunch with.  The one that was older, very wealthy, and a complete ass!  He still comes in every morning.  I can't believe he hasn't switched coffee shops!  Anyway, that's another story.

I will keep everyone posted!  Please follow me on twitter @kurucocktails.  Or subscribe to this post.  Or repost. Or 'like' on facebook.

MATCH.COM- ANSWERING EMAILS

2nd day in and I've decided to actually answer some of these 48 emails.  Not the ones that are ridiculous!  There are many of those!  Can you believe that men actually start with 'Hey Baby.'  Really?  I also cannot believe how many men actually send an email that starts with, "you know you want to meet me?"  Really?  uh..no, not really!  Seriously, I'd say at least five men sent an email that started with, "you know you want to meet me?"  Here's my favorite: 


How are you today love. I like your profile and pictures are up my alley. Check me out and see if you dig me as much as most people do ;). We could meet up for a quick beer at maybe Cook's Corner and see whats up. Nothing formal. So don't fight it, you know you want to meet me. Don't be escared, i'm not. I've dated beautiful women all around the world LOL


I'm not sure if this is a joke!  Did he really just say that?  Cook's corner?  For those of you that don't know Cook's corner is this completely dive breakfast/lunch place that looks like it is serious need of renovation!  I've never been inside and have no idea if the food is good, because.....I'm too scared!  Honestly, it looks like it's been around since the 1800's, needs a fresh coat of pain or something.  Keep in mind I live in Newport Beach California.  Denny's look nicer then this place!  Not an ideal first impression to say the least!  Maybe all those 'beautiful women' from around the world should have clued him in!




My favorite email came from a 39 year old guy.  Probably not my type, but could not have asked for a better email.  Take note men:


Wow! Whats the secret? I would guess that you are 29 years old…keep up the great work! You look fantastic:)


I know the 29 years thing is a bit of a stretch,  but it sounds good right?  Sweet and simple.  No 'hey baby' involved no, 'Google me because I'm the best your gonna get'.  (I got that too!)  None of that!  


Anyway.  I still have emails to go through, so I will keep everyone posted!  Please comment, subscribe, or follow me on twitter @kurucocktails